Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2013 18:43:15 GMT -5
Remus had a lot on his mind. And that was putting it lightly. He was overworked – his own fault – and underslept – also his own fault, which wasn’t making stress management very easy. Sure, taking an unexpected short trip to Disney World with Felicity had been a nice escape, but that was temporary. And actually, it had left him with even more on his mind now than ever. And first and foremost on that list was Felicity herself.
Felicity. Now there was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma if ever there was one. One minute she seemed to want to help people, the next, all she cared about was hurting them for her own cause. A cause that he almost wished he wasn’t privy to. It was hard to ignore her newfound track record of purposefully harming people. And the complaints he was getting left and right about her training habits or her sanity. There were several people wishing she would be removed from her position as a centurion entirely. And he almost sided with them. After all, she was getting rougher and less predictable by the day it seemed, and that was no good for a leader. Fourth or not, she needed to get her act together.
But it wasn’t that easy. He knew how much that would hurt her too. He’d seen it on her face when in a flash of temper, he’d informed her in no uncertain terms what his and the camp’s feelings were at the moment towards her. It was all Saturn’s fault. That damned Titan was after another war, he just knew it. He couldn’t be trusted. And Felicity just continued to follow him like a puppy. Curse her and her blindness! And she blamed him for being a war monger! She wanted the gods to fall and wanted the Titans to rise, but didn’t seem to understand that there was no cut and dry way of doing that which didn’t involve blood and pain.
Though even that wasn’t the worst of his problems in this. He was sworn to protect the camp, both physically and mentally. He wouldn’t have it any other way. But Felicity was headed down a destructive road, and though he tried to hide it, it was killing him to see her do this to herself. To the camp. Why? Because, frankly, he loved her. That was what was making this so hard. How could he stop her when he wanted to help her? Not help her take over the world for those nasty Titans, but help her to get through this trouble spot alive. Especially when she’d made him swear that if she got too out of hand, he would kill her. It was unthinkable. He leaned forward where he sat on the couch in the Praetors’ common room, elbows on his knees and face in his hands. Last he’d checked, Zidane was busy with something or another, so he allowed himself a moment of weakness he would otherwise never show to a soul alive. “I need help. Anyone. I… I can’t do this anymore. I’m killing the whole camp because I can’t do my stupid job. Gods, I’m an idiot!” There was no one there to hear him, after all, so he could say what he wanted, admit what he wanted. This was one of those moments he allowed himself to be the hurt, scared teenager that he so often shoved to the depths of his mind.
Tag: Venus
Word Count: 581
Notes: I had a lot of fun writing that actually. which might be surprising given it's not the happiest post I've written, lol