Better Days [Zidane]

[Deleted]

Clare sat on the grassy hill of Temple Hill. It was nice here, in the sunshine and she could kick off her flip flops and feel the grass tickle her feet and the cool dirt beneath it. The sunshine was warm on her skin and the few fluffy clouds floating by helped the glare of the sun occasionally. And on top of that, some birds that apparently had made nests, or at least liked to hang out, on one of the temples – she had no idea which – were very chatty today.

But she wasn’t here for any of that, though it helped a lot. Clare was here to be away from the majority of the people of Camp Jupiter. After all, people didn’t really come here that often. So many people knew here just as the bubbly, talkative one around camp. Which, most of the time, was true. Her brothers were the only ones she really openly showed the other side to. And today was one of those days that her mood took a sudden turn for the worst. But this, no, this she couldn’t take to Xander and Damien. This was too personal. And she figured she knew well enough already what they’d say.

She pulled her knees up against her and looked out over the bustling city of New Rome. And her favorite part, the lake right along the border glittering like a thousand jewels in the sun. It helped lift her mood a little, but still didn’t prevent the occasional tear to fall. Clare knew the opinion was present around the camp, so it shouldn’t have surprised her. She had two biological brothers, and one deceased sister, none of them by the same father. A lot of people tended to raise an eyebrow at that one. But still, it was her mom. Her family. The girl today, though, he had taken it too far.

It was bad enough that Clare frequently enough felt a bit strained as the only living girl in her family, and being the youngest too. Xander and Damien had already known each other pretty well before she came along as the unexpected new family member. That didn’t mean that they hadn’t taken her in immediately, but she still knew she didn’t quite fit in with the guys. And what that boy had said… no, it was too personal to take to her brothers. So instead she just hugged her knees and watched the lake in the distance, too lost in her own dreary thoughts to pay attention to anything else or to bother holding back the tears.

WORD COUNT: 434
TAG: Zidane!
SONG: Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

[zidane]

The sun in the sky just seemed like it was mocking Zidane today as he trudged away from the shopping area of New Rome, his characteristic smile gone with the wind. It was so unlike him that he was sure someone might freak out if they got a load of him at the moment, but it was good that the road he was crossing was quiet at this time of day. He wasn’t really sure why, but he suspected that it was the time when most of the Demi-gods were busy out in the arenas and the rest of the families in New Rome were home resting or going about their business. Whatever the reason was, he wasn’t complaining about it. Anyone who cared would have supposed to asked him where that smile had gone, and he wouldn’t have wanted to answer of course, or more accurately he would have denied anything they said and thrown himself back into the joking mood half-heartedly and maybe tell them a venus girl had turned him down. Again.

His reason for somberness seemed kind of stupid really, he’d actually been about the shops looking to get some polish to use to care for his prized swords that were hidden back in his barrack right now because he obviously wasn’t allowed to take them with him on trips into the town. It was always one of the worst parts though, he felt so naked without the weapons on his person. At the same time, it gave him a sense of lightness as well because it reminded him that in general, New Rome was a place he didn’t have to worry to much about war-like pretenses. In any case, he’d been on his way to get the polish and was thinking about how he had the money on hand that he didn’t need to consider shoplifting when he happened to walk across the florist stall. Flowers themselves weren’t a problem, but rather that he happened to spot those flowers sitting innocently in one of the vases on display. For a moment everything went red and in that moment of thoughtlessness he shattered the vase with his fist and the glass and water fell to the floor. The shattering sound rang out along with the florist's angry shouts. He quickly apologized and swore it was an accident. He hastily threw some change at the florist and hauled out of there before the commotion attracted any more attention, noticing with a silent curse that he'd cut himself on the glass.

Why was he so worked up about Colordo Columbines anyway? They’d been the very same flowers his adopted brother Zack had been going to give to his lady friend the day the giant had attacked them. The day that had changed his life forever and taken away the only semblance of family he’d had. And to this day, the memory of the flowers always left a bitter taste in his mouth. The sight of them befouled his insides. The shock of the sudden bad memories made him feel that he no longer cared about needing to give his swords a good polish. Instead, he decided that maybe a visit to his father’s temple might calm him and remind him that it was all in the past, since killing the florist who’d ordered the things was out of the question. It was just really hard to let go, and he really didn’t want any of the legion to see him in that particular state. He was so wrapped up in his negative thoughts that as he crested the hill that housed the building he was looking for, he was caught by surprise when he almost tripped over Clare Rodriguez.

He was in the process of quickly patching up the crack in his usual façade and coming up with a dumb story about his bloody hand to show Clare his best flirtatious face when he noticed that there was something shimmering on her cheek…Which he realized with a sinking feeling was tears. Clare was brave enough to be a friend of his despite her scarily overbearing brothers, particularly the son of Pluto that everyone claimed was cursed, so seeing her cry when she was usually so bubbly and crazy made him feel even more shocked and downright terrible. But it also also managed to make him briefly put his own issue on the back burner. Gently, so as not to shock her, he put his non-bloody hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Who do I need to beat the crap out of for making a beautiful girl cry?”

Word Count: 700
Notes:.oO( Sorry for it being a bit long. I was gonna leave it til my break in classes tomorrow, but "Paradise" by coldplay came on and sucked me into muse. xD )
Tag: Clare!

[Deleted]

Sometimes it was easy to forget stuff. Clare did it all the time. Oh, she was supposed to be at the obstacle course five minutes ago? Oops. She still owed Damien back his ipod? …Wait, where did she leave it again? Now that she actually thought about it, she remembered putting it in the side pocket of her bag. Now was the trick to remember that when she was actually near her bag. But she wasn’t really focused on that right now.

Instead, she was thinking back on what had happened not even an hour ago. That, she didn't seem to be able to forget. To think she’d been in her usual bubbly mood at the time. Now it felt like she hadn’t smiled in years. She leaned her head on her knees and closed her eyes. It had started out like any other day. It was in the middle of training that it happened. She was being herself. That is to say, she was getting by with the training but the moment they were allowed a break for water, things went downhill. Apparently, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It was normal for Clare to get weird looks or glares for her unusual attitude, but direct in-your-face comments were much rarer. With this boy, though, it had been different.

It had started as an innocent enough telling her to shut up, but before long the guy was hardly two feet from her, making it quite clear he was of belief that she was the product of bad decision making on her mom’s part and that if people were just smarter, she wouldn’t exist. It was bad enough that he was insulting her family, both mortal and demigod as well as immortal. She didn’t know her dad, of course, but she liked to think he wasn’t so bad. But on top of the family insults, just the way he’d said it. It made it sound like he genuinely thought the world be a whole lot better if she didn’t exist. It was at that point she’d left training, though not before letting him know her thoughts on the matter.

Which brought her here. She probably would have kept up just sitting and thinking, which may or may not have been the healthiest coping mechanism but whatever, if it weren’t for the disturbance. She’d been so lost in thought, and what with her eyes closed, that she hadn’t noticed him approach until he nearly tripped over her. She jumped and let out a small squeak of surprise, which was a little embarrassing of a habit, but this was Zidane and she trusted him not to harass her (unless in joking) about it. Before, Clare had been all for not being around anyone, but when she saw that it was Zidane, she couldn’t admit she wasn’t a bit relieved. He was a nice guy as long as you didn’t mind his unusual hobbies. Personally, Clare usually found then funny and fun. And even when that side wasn’t showing, he could be surprisingly deep and caring. There was a lot she still didn’t know about him, but she was perfectly happy with letting that come whenever he wanted to share.

She thought she saw a hint of something different when she looked up at him, though, before it was gone. She stood up and wiped at her eyes before brushing he dirt off her shorts. “Don’t worry about it, I already gave him a bloody nose before coming here,” she said, though she didn’t sound particularly victorious or anything. In fact, she looked down at her hand for a moment like part of her regretted having hurt someone like that. Which was true enough.

It was while she was looking down at her hand that she noticed something else. His other hand was bleeding. Pushing her own issues out of her mind, she gingerly took his hand and looked at the cuts. “What happened?” Around here, it could be anything. But that didn’t mean it was a good thing. Still holding on to his hand with one of hers, she leaned down and grabbed the bottle of water she’d had at the training break and had brought here without thinking about. She opened it with her teeth and spat the cap to the ground. Slowly, she poured some of the water over his cuts, though the small amount moved against gravity across all of the cuts before falling to the ground like it suddenly remembered physics didn’t like it not listening. But at least the cuts were cleaner now.

WORD COUNT: 771
TAG: Zidane!

[zidane]

A raw feeling in the chest not associated with a physical disorder was disconcerting to say the least. It was amazing what something so insignificant as a flower or words strung together could really do to the body. An increased rate of breath, almost to the point of hyperventilation at times; a pulse racing so hard, it seemed as if he’d run several marathons. The dilation of the pupil at the spike of depressive chemicals that let too much light in and gave him a headache, the contraction of the muscles in his body as he seemed to brace for the impact that would only connect inside of his brain. It made him feel like he’d been in a strenuous battle without ever having to unsheathe his swords.

The adrenaline that had rushed into his body so suddenly was wearing off as he stood next to Clare and he felt his muscles sag a little bit as he gave into what he was feeling earlier. The somberness reopened the crack in his façade, but he found he didn’t mind because it was her, and it seemed to him that they were both having an uncharacteristically bad day when it came to having things unexpectedly emotionally run them over. If there was anything that gave him cause to be genuine for just a little while was the bond of empathy. That wasn’t to say he was fake, but his real thoughts and feelings were hidden under layers and layers of glibness and a sense of barely caring about much.


Besides, who else would laugh at his stupid egotistical jokes? Well… A few other people did. But he appreciated Clare for being a friend who would, as well as the fact that she never pressed him to be more serious than he’d be willing to be. It was such a breath of fresh air. Presently, once he’d put his hand on her shoulder she’d let out a little squeak of fright, which turned his lips into a smile but he didn’t laugh. “Sorry. I really didn’t mean to scare you.” The smile widened a little more when she’d declared she’d already given the perpetrator a good bloody nose, though if what they’d done was bad enough, he might not have left it at that. “That’s my girl. I’m glad you did something about it. But what actually happened?”

He sighed and looked at his bloody hand that was being pulled up by her smaller ones in a gentle manner. Were it some other girl in a different situation he might have made a suggestive comment at this point, but his heart wasn’t in it and it really wasn’t the kind of friendship they had. Instead, keeping his darkened grey eyes fixed on it, he decided to be honest with her. “ I… I punched a vase of flowers in town.” His face was slightly pained as he mentioned it, even though the explanation might have otherwise been funny. “It brought back a bad memory.” His gaze came up as he saw her reaching for her water bottle and began to pour the water on the cuts. His muscles tightened and he made a slight face as the water met it with a slight sting, but it was soon outweighed by curiosity as he saw the water hover over his skin a moment too long, as if it was obeying something besides gravity. He looked at Clare then, eyebrows raised and another smile, though it was still like the sun hidden somewhat behind a cloud. “That’s a pretty cool trick, you know. And thank you.” He looked down after a moment at his bleeding hand, the slight sting back like the thoughts banging around in his head.

Word Count:624
Notes: .oO( Tag, Clare's "it"!)

[Deleted]

Clare enjoyed being upset like this about as much as she enjoyed tight, enclosed spaces. Well, she didn’t really freak out in a major way and start banging on the walls and more or less going into hysterics, but nor did she have a real phobia of feeling down, so that was sort of understandable. If she was sad while in an enclosed, small space, now that would be bad. Luckily, Temple Hill was about as un-tight and enclosed as it got here.

And there was the fact that, though she didn’t always live by her own advice so well, company was a good thing. And Zidane definitely counted on that list. He was fun to joke around with and he seemed not to mind her antics. Which was saying a lot. She smiled back at him. It was nice to find something to smile about after the last… however long she’d been sitting there. “Oh, don’t be sorry. My bad for not paying attention. Not going to make me do laps or something, are you?” she teased. He wasn’t the centurion of her cohort, but she still respected him. Wasn’t often that really cool, not-strict people got leadership positions around here it seemed. She stood a little taller and grinned when he gave his stamp of approval to her means of handling the situation.

Though he just had to ask what had happened, didn’t he? Though she certainly wasn’t dumb enough to put it past him to take how his friends were treated personally, she still wasn’t fond of the idea of giving him more reason to be just all around not happy when he seemed to have that down to an art at the moment already. But she wasn’t about to lie to him either. “Just the old bit about my mom being loose and my dad and uncles users and I shouldn’t exist if people had brains thing…” She said noncommittally, hoping it might sound like she was too used to it to really care. Then again, he already knew she’d punched the guy who’d said the stuff and had been crying just now, so that was sort of a useless attempt.

Clare was more than happy to focus on what was bothering him though. Her problems, she was abysmal at fixing. Others’ problems, well she felt like she might be of some help at least. She nodded at his first explanation, as though punching a vase of flowers was a perfectly normal stress relief method. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked when he mentioned flowers bringing up a bad memory. Sometimes it helped to get things out instead of bottling them up inside. Of course, she was one to talk, but still.

She could feel the muscles in his hand react to the water. No doubt it wasn’t pleasant. Good thing it was fresh water though, as opposed to her preferred saltwater. That might have been bad. She looked up and smiled slightly at his veiled smile. “Thanks. And hey, no problem. Best not to let it go without cleaning for too long after all. So, how can I help?” Whether it was wanted or not, she really wanted to find a way to get to the bottom of whatever had made Zidane upset enough to punch flowers.

WORD COUNT: 555
TAG: Zidane! Tag, you’re it!

[zidane]

In a strange diversion of thoughts, the heat of the sun and the intensity of his feelings made him wish winter were closer, although it rarely got very cold around here, thanks to the proximity to the ocean. Mostly he didn’t mind, but his nostalgia that had spiked with the events a few minutes ago made him think longingly of snow of all things. He remembered when the temperature would drop enough in Reno that the snow was sure to follow, and the best part besides the many fun games to be played with it was how silent the world seemed when it snowed. It was one of the rare moments that he could imagine there being some peace in the hectic life of a demi-god, and he remembered times when Zack would walk out with him and enjoy each other’s company and just talk about life.


The entrance of Zack back into his memories brought him sharply back to the present, and the mental sting seemed to resonate with the physical one in his hand, and though he’d barely want to acknowledge it, it stung his eyes just a little, too. It seemed as if he’d never come to terms with the transition into camp life when the memories of his former one snuck up on him. Although he’d been able to get himself to a place of numbing himself to the issue, it really only worked when he didn’t think about it. Which meant he hadn’t really been able to internalize and accept what he’d lost to really fully embrace where he was now, which was an interesting position to be in for a guy who usually capitalized on a silly and carefree way of life. But maybe it just reminded him that he was still human.

Clare’s teasing question broke through his thoughts and he smiled at her, shrugging. “A soldier has always got to be on their guard, and if you can’t manage that, well. I’m afraid that even though you’re pretty and a daughter of one of the big kahunas, you’ll need to do many, many laps to rectify that. ” He scoffed just a little at his joke, knowing that some of the other centurions would actually say that, but he didn’t really believe that punishing things like that was a good way to lead people. Most of the time he stayed out of his cohort member’s business and just cared about them staying safe and staying cool with one another. “I guess I can give you a pass this one time though.” He winked playfully, momentarily looking like his usual self…Until she told him what the guy had said to her.

“WHAT?!” Impulsively he felt around his hip for his pair of short-swords and it took him a moment to remember that they were back in his quarters because he couldn’t bring them here. He clenched his unharmed fist, his expression stormy. His voice was deadly calm as he said, “You give me the name of the camper and I will make sure that he never speaks to you again, Clare. I’m amazed you left that…” he cast around for a less offensive word than he was tempted to use, “Swine, with only a broken nose.” It was a minute before Zidane could quell the rage in his chest, but for that minute he’d forgotten about the previous ache he’d been feeling. It returned when she asked him about it though, and he sighed and stared at the bloody hand she was still holding, though he noticed the bleeding had slowed now.

He cast his gaze around uncomfortably for a moment then decided that he’d like to sit down away from the puddle of water that had just cleaned his hand up. “Yeah, okay. Let’s sit back down.” When he was sitting, he pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them, his preamble to his stating the issue a sigh. “ When I was eight years old, my brother… Well, he wasn’t actually related to me, but we pretty much were. Anyway. He wanted to take flowers to this girl he was after at the time, but he really wanted to impress her so he took me to this expensive flower shop and we took one of the rarest kind they had there. But when we were leaving to take them to the girl, we got attacked by a lastrygonian. He was badly injured, but I managed to help him get out. But… Because of it, I had to leave my family and come here. ” There was melancholy in his voice that was almost never present and it was weird. “Don’t get me wrong, though. I love this place. All the girls and stuff, and all of my friends like you.” His smile was genuine but faint. “I just…never got to say goodbye.”

Word count: 776
Notes: .oO( Sorry it was kind of lengthy for explanation’s sake. ._. Sad day though!)

[Deleted]

It was easy to feel a little better with Zidane joking around. Even if it was half-hearted, knowing that he wasn’t broken beyond being able to pull up his usual smile made Clare feel like she would be able to get through any troubles too. She held back a smile at his threat to make her run laps, knowing full well he was too nice to actually do that. But in the spirit of trying to help them both get out of the slump, playing along didn’t hurt. So she gave him her biggest, patented puppy dog eyes. “I’ll try harder next time.” When he said he’d give her a pass this time, she beamed.

Until the topic changed. She didn’t quite meet his eyes, which she was pretty sure didn’t help her brushing it off as nothing efforts. She winced a little when he made it very obvious he wasn’t pleased by the whole thing. “Zidane, it’s okay…” she said quietly. Probably not the best time to inform him it wasn’t the first time. Yeah, probably not. She usually thought she had to get desensitized to stuff like this soon, but every time was just another failure to do so. Ah, well, maybe next time, right? “Phil. Westwood, I think. From third cohort. But Zidane, really. Don’t worry about it, okay? No harm done. Just toughen up and move on,” she said, giving her best positive look, which only worked so well.

She was glad he decided to confide in her. Seeing him so upset was worse than when she’d been sitting by herself. She nodded and took a seat next to him, watching him with sympathy as he told his story. Picturing him only eight years old would have been adorable if it weren’t for the rest of the story. She smiled a little as he talked of his ‘brother’, who really did seem like a nice guy. She could see where Zidane got it then. It was easy to tell from his expression and just the way he talked that he cared a lot for his brother. Her smile dropped when he mentioned a monster though. It wasn’t such a surprise. Just part and parcel of being a demigod. A very unfortunate part.

Even his faint smile wasn’t enough to break the mood, though she smiled just slightly in return. She wrapped on arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a side-hug whether he liked it or not because she had the firm belief that hugs were the best way to feel better. “I’m sure he understands. That was really something. An eight-year-old standing up to one of those monsters? Did you ever tell him what you are?” Which wasn’t meant to be a slam or anything, just the honest truth. They weren’t like other kids. She hugged him a little closer. “What about writing him? Or Iris Messaging? Or even visiting. I bet Lia would be understanding about it. I’d offer to go along, but… yeah.” Big three did not do well outside the camp usually. If he was shooting for not being attacked, a clumsy daughter of Neptune would be a terrible pick as back-up. And maybe… maybe this was something best done on his own. Even if she didn’t like that idea much either.

WORD COUNT: 551
TAG: Zidane!
NOTES: Fear the awesome powers of the hug!

[zidane]

Although perhaps the sun in the sky did little to make Zidane feel like his usually nonchalant self, the little blonde ray of sunshine sitting next to him probably could do what the real one was failing to. He was relieved that he could still tease her and help her feel better too, and the puppy-dog eyes she gave him to teasingly beg him for mercy did a lot for her case. It was hard to resist a cute girl who had the puppy dog eyes down. “Alright soldier, you better! But… it’s okay if it’s only a little bit.” He held up his fingers pinched close together to emphasize the ‘little’ part, smiling a little bit at her.

…Indeed, before the topic had changed. The rage still simmered just under his skin that someone in camp could be that insensitive and… a long string of unsavory labels that he’d happily announce to the entire camp about this kid. His unharmed hand still frozen in a forceful clench as he tried to get the surge of temper under control. Him having temper issues at all was virtually unheard of, but a minute amount of campers had the ability to hit just the right nerve. And it turned out that Phil was one of them. “It’s not okay, Clare! I warn you, I will have a chat with his centurion, Issa I think… I think I can convince her that if she doesn’t take care of it, I will. But I will see to it that he never says it again, even if it means… Talking to your brothers about it. And hoping they don’t shoot the messenger.” He winced at that before continuing, “It’s not about being tough, though. It’s about others having enough balls to keep their mouth shut when they should.”

The tension remained as he told Clare about what had happened to him as a child. Remembering that day and voicing it sort of opened the wound again so to speak, but it was also cathartic to share it with someone in camp. It almost made him intrepid, and due to the situation that had put her here to begin with, he wondered if he ought to share one of his deepest secrets. Before he made a decision though, he felt himself being pulled over by an arm into a side hug, and it made him smile a little bit. He lifted his arm and side-hugged her back, flexing once to nonverbally express his appreciation for the hug. It was a rare moment of solidarity with someone in a serious setting, something that reinforced why he’d wanted Clare as his friend in the first place.

His expression was kind of saddened by her questions though, legitimate as they were. “They knew I was… special, I guess. But no one, including me, knew what I was until the night my dad contacted me in my dream, which was that night. So… no. I didn’t ever get the chance to tell him or old Baku. And with the giant, I guess I really didn’t have a choice.” He shrugged with his free arm as one was still around Clare in a hug. “I don’t know how he or Baku would handle an Iris message, since they don’t know about this world. And… I really don’t know if they’d want to hear from me after I just up and left them like that… And I really appreciate the thought of you coming with me. But monsters are too attracted to pretty girls like you,” he half-teased, full well knowing that it was the strength of her blood that actually attracted them. “But… I guess I could at least try and write them. I just hope they still live in Reno. I guess if not… Maybe dad might have pity on me and deliver it.” His face sort of fell at the thought that they might not even be where he remembered them to be anymore.

Word Count: 663
Notes: .oO( ;_; So cute and saaad!)

[Deleted]

Clare smiled a little at their joking. It was good to know he hadn’t completely sunk into depression or something. She’d seen that happen to one of her brothers once and that had just been terrifying. If that happened to Zidane too… but no, Zidane wasn’t the type for that. No matter what happened, he seemed to have a way to keep his wits, or at least his sense of humor, about him. And if he ran into trouble, she’d be here to help him get back up. Simple as that.

She didn’t like having to spill what had made her so upset. Mostly because she had a feeling he would overreact, which she was right enough on. But still, she knew she could trust him when it came to stuff like this and it really did make her feel a little bit better to have someone to talk to. And was it bad that she took some comfort in the fact that he was agreeing with her, even to the point of being protective enough to go do something about it? He really was a great friend. She gave him a faint smile. “Thanks, Zidane. Not that I think you’ll listen, but you do know you don’t have to do that, right? I… should be able to stand up for myself better.” Though when he mentioned telling her brothers, she panicked a little. If anyone knew how violent those two could get at times, it was her. They both, even if Xander wouldn’t admit to it, were very protective. Really, all three of them were of each other. She’d almost started a fight the last time she’d heard someone talking bad about her brothers. But the boys… they didn’t have the restraint she usually did. At least, ‘restraint’ was what she liked to call it. More like, she was chicken. “Please don’t tell them. I can handle it.” Not only did she hate seeming like the needy little girl in the family all the time, but… well, the taunt had been at her brothers’ mother as well. So she couldn’t guarantee that Phil would not be deep electrical-fried and then sentenced to eternal torment.

But she had bigger fish to deal with. Like Zidane’s problem. She kept a close hold around his shoulders as she thought on how to try and help. She stayed surprisingly silent considering how she normally was, though at one thing, her attention snapped to him in what was somewhere between disbelief and almost but not quite frustration. “Don’t talk like that! How could they not want to hear from you! They’re your family! Biological or not, they must have and still do care a lot about you. Family forgives and loves no matter what.” She smiled a little at his tease. “Maybe if I wear a mask then.” She nodded slightly. “I hope so too. But worth a try, right? Who knows what will happen.” She gave him another brief squeeze around the shoulders and an encouraging smile. All the while sending a silent prayer to Mercury to help him with contacting his family.

WORD COUNT: 520
TAG: Zidane!
NOTES: Shorter than I like, but there you are! And recycling gifs already…

[zidane]

Depression was such a rare emotion for Zidane that it seemed weird for him to be sitting here knee deep in it, but it would pass eventually. With Clare’s help, it was likely to be sooner than later. He’d never been in a major depression he couldn’t get out of before, except once when he was young when he’d had a talk with Baku about his mother, who he’d never met except for the couple of days she’d been with him just after he was born, which of course he had no memory of. He’d always wondered what had happened to her and when he’d been brave enough to ask, he took what he heard as that he’d been abandoned. He didn’t want to think of his mother like that, but it was frightening when he couldn’t help it. The second time he’d come close was leaving Baku and Zack, but his time with Lupa and kick those thoughts right out of his head. He was grateful for that. Admitting that a lot of his careless demeanor was a product of not wanting to look to closely at life’s woes most of the time was something difficult for him to do, but here was a time he could be honest. His smile at Clare’s willingness to be there for him through this was a rare one, full of gratitude.

It was a little marred by the reason she herself was sitting here, because of some ass’ careless comments, which once again sharply reminded him of his own mother issues. Of course that only spurred on his desire to protect her and bring the person responsible to justice. People could be cruelly insensitive about the things they said, and he was lucky that no one knew about the situation with his mother because he could bet a fortune (albeit a stolen one) that someone would say something and they would be in the infirmary. “But I do, Clare dear.” His eyes tightened and his arm around her shoulder did, too. “But please, don’t say crap like that. You do the best you can, and sometimes people aim below the belt. Any cheap attack shouldn’t be countenanced in a Roman camp on soldiers honor, right? So I will talk to Issa and see if she can do anything.” His eyebrows pulled together at her spike in anxiety but he nodded, though reluctantly. “Okay, we’ll take this one ourselves. But I swear Clare if that boy continues to bother you, I will talk to them and make sure there is hell to pay. Excuse the unintentional pun.” He bit his lip at his poor joke, but hoped it would make her feel better.

He drew a heavy sigh as they went back to his dilemma though. He was a little surprised at her silence but continued with what he’d been saying when she stopped him with an abrupt admonishment. In peace, he held up his free hand. “Okay, okay. It’s a stupid thought. I will write them, I swear on the styx. And you’re right, who knows? But Clare… Let me tell you a secret that I think you can appreciate.” He swallowed audibly and hesitated, then plowed on. “My mother… She left me with Baku when I was a couple of day over and vanished. Baku said she wanted what was best for me, but I still can’t help but think that… That maybe she just didn’t want me. You know?” His silver eyes were bright at that point. “I’m just telling you because I thought you’d want to know that I can understand having mom issues… but also why I’m worried. You know?” In a nervous habit he almost never partook in, he chewed the nail of the index finger on his free hand, the other clinging to Clare as he considered what he’d said. Was it fair to expose that to her? Or would he just upset her further? But if there was anyone he could talk to about it, he was sure it was his usually sunny friend. They could take this time to be who they usually weren’t together, and later it could just be their little secret.

Word count: 700
Notes: .oO( Friends forever man! ;_;)

[Deleted]

Clare didn’t like being sad. But worse than that (by a million!) was seeing one of her friends upset. She had this annoying tendency to make others’ problems hers too, which only made her upset too most of the time and didn’t usually help actually mend the situation. She hated focusing on her now seemingly petty problems – gods, she really was a baby, wasn’t she? – when Zidane, who she had always admired for his strength no matter how people treated him just for his personality, had much bigger issues that needed to be resolved now!

But at the same time, it was nice to get his help. Even if it was a petty, silly problem next to his, he always took her seriously. Or at least, when she was trying to be serious, he did. And when it was time for joking, the two of them could quite the duo. He was definitely her favorite person to hang out with outside of direct family. It was obvious he was taking her issue personally as well, though. She winced a little when he argued that she was basically being irrational. “I know people can be too mean sometimes, but… well I’ve never been good at fighting back at all.” Well, unless she was really angry. Which didn’t happen often. She was the little girl in the corner that shied away from confrontations and usually ended up with her brothers handlings for her whether she liked it or not. And to some degree, she didn’t like it. No, she almost hated it. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to honor her father and her heritage. And herself. She couldn’t hide forever. “I guess so, but…”

Then a crazy idea came to mind. She straightened a little, keeping her arm around him, and looked to him. “Zidane, can you help me learn to be a better fighter? I’m tired of being such a weakling. Please?” Though she doubted they were necessary, she gave him her best puppy dog eyes anyway. Mostly because, as they’d already been joking about before, they seemed a weakness of his, so she liked to tease him with it every now and again. And gods knew they needed reason to smile tonight. And, well, she was hoping it might actually help persuade him to be crazy enough to be in the vicinity of Clare Rodriguez and a weapon. Even Damien was hesitant about letting her around weapons, though that was more because she had had a cream soda at the time and, being the trusting brother that he was, he suspected she would spill it. In her defense, she hadn’t spilt a drop.

Though when he went on to say that he would certainly tell her brothers if it happened again, she bit her lip. The hint of a pained smile came to her face. “Hell to pay is certainly an understatement. Electrical burns aren’t fun either, so I’ve heard. …But thanks,” she finished, offering a real smile. It meant a lot that Zidane wanted to help her so much.

She fell silent when he agreed to write Baku and beamed at the idea that maybe he could find some peace with this whole messy history. Though when he mentioned a secret and seemed to get really nervous, her mood switched immediately to truly worried. When he continued, though, she froze as several emotions battled for the front. No wonder he was so upset! If he thought his mom had just up and abandoned him! Without warning, she threw her free arm around him and pulled him into a full, close hug. After a second of just silently holding him, she finally spoke up. “Oh, Zidane! Don’t think like that! I-… I’m sure she wanted you! I mean… judging from how you are now, you had to have been an absolute angel when you were little,” she let go only enough to smile at him through her already misting over eyes (she couldn’t help it! It was just such a sad thought!). “I bet you were the cutest and sweetest little boy in the world. There had to have been more to it. Maybe she couldn’t afford to raise you. Or… or… oh, she can’t have just left you!” The thought was appalling, at least in her view.

She completely ignored his mentioning about relating to mom issues. This was too important; she’d already as good as forgotten about her own problems. Though she did spare the thought to pull his hand away from his mouth so he’d have to stop chewing his nails. She knew from experience habits like that only ended badly, and sometimes painfully, for your fingers, but that aside. “I won’t tell a soul, I promise. But Zidane… just know that whatever the reasoning behind what happened… you’re an amazing guy and nothing at all is going to change that. Whatever reason she left you for, it has nothing to do with you yourself. It couldn’t have been. And that’s proved in how much Baku and your brother,” she realized with some embarrassment that she didn’t know his name, “cared about you. They kept you and took care of you. That has to mean something.”

Then another idea hit her – wow, this was her lucky day in sudden revelations! It was going out on a limb, but maybe it would work. After all, whenever she was sad about stuff, thinking about happy things made it better. So she scooted to where she still had her arms around him – loosely, so in case he didn’t want them there, it would be easy to push her away – but he would be able to lean against her if he so chose. Another thing she’d always found comforting: curling up against someone. It was something her brothers were used to dealing with. Of course, that was by her way of thinking, so that certainly didn’t mean that it was definitely or even likely the way he thought as well. But on the off chance it worked, it didn’t hurt. “Tell me about them. About Baku and your brother. All the happy things, the good times. And the bad too. I want to learn about your family. If that’s okay.”

WORD COUNT: 1041
TAG: Zidane!!
NOTES: Sorry this took SO long!! And that it’s a tad long. o.o But yes, friends forever!! *sniffle*