A Lonely Stroll Down Crazy Lane (Open)

[Deleted]

Zidane sat on his bed in moody silence, twisting a small knife in his hand as if he were closely examining it. In reality, he barely recognized that he was even holding it because his mind was far away as had become his new normal these days. He rarely remained in the present because often, his mind wasn’t even sure when the present was. Dim light in his barrack reflected a sheen from the blade of the knife he held, reflecting off the walls and moving to and fro. Then, it slipped from his grip and fell onto the bed, jostling him back to the reality in front of him. His dazed expression turned morose at that, and he retrieved the knife and threw it back into a drawer in his nightstand with other random objects that he’d developed a habit of “collecting.” In reality, that meant stealing, but he would never admit to that. That particular knife had belonged to some pretty thing in the fourth cohort who carried it carelessly in her back pocket. It had been easy to snatch, but there was no good reason for it. He had his beautiful blades that he’d never replace usage with for anything else if he could help it, but it had just felt good to take.

He had really, really lost it. Somewhere in his fractured mind he understood that, but the rest of the fragments didn’t seem to know or care that he was no longer himself. In fact, if he focused too intensely on that fact it only served to send him into a fit of mad giggles, which often scared his few barrack-mates away. They hadn’t been spending much time in there with him anyway. Most people worth their wits avoided him around camp after he’d returned and subsequently gone on a rampage when he found out that… she… was dead. The final string on his sanity snapped then. Discordia had shown him her death probably hundreds of times. Sometimes killed by shadows, sometimes by the hand of Saturn himself, and sometimes, his own hand was covered in her blood. Maybe that was a product of his guilt for leaving her. Who knew? In any case, someone had been kind enough to give him the most isolated barrack in the second cohort to give him space, especially because at first, many had tried to talk to the lost Praetor, but he would either not respond at all or respond very violently, especially when people would ask about… Her.

His heart clenched in his chest, and as often happened lately, he hoped it meant something was wrong and that he’d drop dead soon. But a demi-god wouldn’t have that kind of poor health. He’d just have to wait for battle. Suddenly, he threw himself off the bed and landed crouched on the floor, realizing as if belatedly that he felt cooped up in the room and that he needed air. He wasn’t sure where he’d go, but he wandered out of his barrack dreamily, then out of the cohort area itself and wandered onto one of the many paths in the camp. He passed several people who probably tried to talk to him, but he didn’t seem to hear them. They must not have gotten the memo about not talking to the crazy man who looked like their old praetor. Oh well. They’d get the message sometime.


Word Count: 570
Tags: Open

[Deleted]

Tag: Zidane

Word: 586

Notes: Well Josh won the coin toss. XD

It was a good day for a stroll, cool weather, sunny day. People was trying to enjoy of the good weather before other hit of good Goddess Khione got camp. She was being gentle after all, but she also needed to get some fun with demigods and not only with mortals. Outside in the streets and vias one could see lots of campers, all of them trying to live a common life, as common as it could be for a demigod or a legacy. also they were trying to leave behind for a while the recent murders, also those before Saturnalia.

Among those were the decapitation of Valerie, former centurion of the second cohort. People still felt sick at the memory of her body at the front steps of Principia. The attack of a praetor, multiple stabs at campers, and much recently the horrible murder of a member of the fourth cohort, which body was found in the infirmary and then just a day after that there were found 5 bodies. all of them seemed to have been destroyed and ripped by a beast. allso the centurion of the third cohort is missing now. Those were dark day for camp and they were getting darker, but still people wanted to live some days of peace before the real storm hit camp with all its rage.

One of those campers was a son of Mercury. people used to know him as a thief, a guy that was always going out of camp without permission, but praetors never got him in the moment he came back or he left, so they had no evidence to punish him. they got him only on low stuff, minor burglars, that got him into the stabels for months. But that never worked, he stil left the camp and came back and stole stuff whenever he wanted to do it. But months ago his life was put in a twister and he felt it hadn't stopped twirling since that moment.

His girl joined the titan, made his swear on Styx to tell him, he decided to break that oath to keep her and camp safe, he turned into a spy that worked for camp, was sent into a mayor quest, his girl turned into the worst version of herself, He came back almost dead and then when he thought everything was fine, when he just asked his girl to leave with him, she chose the titan and threw everything they had into tartarus. But he still wanted her to be fine, he still loved her! so he tried to get to her, telling her how much he loved her. She pronounced th wedding words and he did too. a prompt wedding in the loneliness of the dungeons. Then she just left with Saturn forgetting everything about their love.

He couldn't really get over it, and he was still thinking that she could be saved. But everyday was harder and harder to think that it was possible. As he was thinking about it, he looked up and saw a blond man walking to where he was. but at the same time not really knowing that he was there. "Zidane!" he yelled at the man. Other son of Mercury, his brother and mentor a man that he considered as a hero, as a person to follow. "Zidane! Brother!" he said again and waked to run into his brother. he had been in deep troubles and pain too, maybe they could talk and help each other.

[Deleted]

The pleasant chill in the air usually meant that snow would come soon, if Zidane’s past experience was a good measure of that. Not that he really cared. It was hard to tell whether his nerves were so raw that the overload stopped him from feeling much, or if he was numbing from the inside out, but nonetheless, where most of the kids in the camp were dressed in sweaters and long sleeves, Zidane had on an old-looking sleeveless hoody and some baggy cargo shorts, both of which seemed to hang off of his frame a little. He’d lost a bit of weight since he rarely bothered to visit the dining hall. That father of his, who seemed to be hanging around like the other gods who liked to flock when disaster was coming, had kept trying to feed him sandwiches. He got that his father was supposed to be an absentee god parent, but having him trying to feed him and dote on occasion just made him feel weirder than he already did at this point. Besides. What was the point in taking care of him?


That train of thought was just stupid. Petulantly, Zidane walled off that train as he had become used to doing when his brain started fixating too hard on… difficult subjects. He let out an audible growl, which disturbed surrounding teens on the paths and made them give him a wider berth. He didn’t even really seem to notice, except when one of the people didn’t move. Stupid, brainless people, standing in the way of the flow of traffic. Why couldn’t they just let him drift? That was all he wanted, really. To not be here right now. Trying to move around the person, he realized they weren’t giving in and it took him a moment to realize that in the buzz of conversation around him, his own name was among the din.


Forcing himself to inhale and look up at his engager, Zidane inhaled sharply and drew back as he looked into the face of his half-brother. The very same boy he’d often chased after as praetor and tried to keep out of trouble, who he had suspected of trying to betray the camp, but may or may not have been double-crossing someone. Objectively, he could have respected that, but where the camp had become his responsibility and the boy his own blood, he found It hard to ignore. Now, where he wasn’t sure what this man’s role was in the death of his beloved, he found himself drawing back, an almost feral look crossing his features. “You,” He almost growled. “What could you possibly be wanting from me, brother?” The last world drawled on his lips, both a supplication and a curse. Something inside of him told him not to immediately assume the worst, but another part of his fractured psyche wanted him to pull one of his swords right there.

Luckily, he was rational enough to realize that the latter option would probably get him restrained again, and he really didn’t feel much like putting up with that…


Word Count: 517
Notes: O.o Hostile.
Tag: Josh

[Deleted]

Tag: Zidane

Word: 417

Notes:

For Josh it was kind of easy to remember Zidane from before he was lost, from before all this nightmare started. That Zidane that was always smiling and always willing to help others. maybe it was his Mercury blood, but he was always soft on the punishments when someone was out of law! Not because he lacked of authority, but because he knew campers, he understood them even more than any other praetor before him. so it was very difficult for Josh to try to imagine his brother in a different way.

so when he looked at Zidane now, he couldn't really understand what they did to him to leave him in such state. Well he more or less knew about it, he himself wasn't the same foolish thief that Zidan used to chase around the camp. the man that was standing in front of him, with lost sight, with so much hate in his eyes and his voice wasn't really the Zidane he used to know. what did they do to his brother?! "Zidane... I want nothing, just to see how you are." He said looking into the eyes of his brother. would it be possible that they could change his mind so much?

He had heard weird stories about Zidane, well the new Zidane at least. that he was crazy, that he could stab anyone in the throat if he was in one of his psycho moments. But josh knew his brother better than that, he knew that Zidane would never hurt the innocent onces, he wouldn't let his crazy side to hurt those ones that were true romans and that were working to keep both Camp and New rome safe from the titan's power. He knew his brother... but he didn't know the pain that was eating his heart, he didn't know what it was to lose his love, his lady.

Rhia was still alive, she was a traitor, she was with saturn, but she was alive! But well... in a way Rhia was the one who was the responsible for his loss. She had killed Valerie, and Josh knew that in a way, Zidane was right to speak to him in such way, he would give everything to bring Val back, but... he would never give Rhia to the praetors so they could punish her in the way that a murderer should be punished. so he really hoped that zidan wouldn't ask from him the only thing that he couldn't give to his brother.

[Deleted]

Zidane’s mind was blipping from subject to subject quickly, his eyes moving from side to side as if he were watching his brain process rather than the crowed on the sidewalk. For all the attention he was paying to the walkers and the occasional wide-eyed stare, he may as well have been. A small, isolated part of his mind that was vigilant and lucid was noting what was happening around him, calmly explaining to the rest of his deranged self that these people just hadn’t seen him in a long time, and certainly not in his state. He used to be a very cleaned up version of himself, took pride in his appearance and taking the time to drop a harmless joke or a sideways compliment to anyone of the opposite sex. Then he’d gotten more serious, traded in some of his carelessness with the mantle of leadership.

And now, as he always seemed to dwell on in some part of himself, he was a shadow of that. Some part of him was ashamed of that fact, too. His fists clenched at his side, his jaw tensing as he recognized his half-brother appraising him, as if running his eyes and his mind over all of the fractures that were laid bare. He felt himself tense, felt his throat close like it was preventing him from crying out in rage and anguish. Especially at the look his brother was giving him after his own cold greeting. He wanted to believe his brother really just wanted to know how he was, but he found himself involuntarily searching for some kind of motive, paranoia rearing its ugly head. But, the small part of him that harbored hope made a herculean push to part the other feelings.

Outwardly, Zidane clenched his jaw and averted his face. “And?” His voice was a harsh hiss. “Am I as bad as you thought? Do you feel sorry for me, Brother? Wonder if I might… Snap?” With the last word, a very soft, hysterical laugh found its way through his lips. It wasn’t the warmth he wanted to give, though he honestly didn’t think there was any warmth left in his body in the wake of the chilly numbness that had taken up residence there. “I’m afraid if you were looking for reassurance that things would be okay with me back, I can offer you none. None at all…” He trailed off, his dull, grey eyes landing on his brother’s own with a dim semblance of a smile.


Word Count: 420
Notes: Sorry for such a delay! I didn't realize I'd left this so long! ><; Gotta love college.

[Deleted]

Tag: Zidane

Word: 464

Notes: Don't worry, we all have hells to deal in rl XD

It was a fact that Josh didn't need the rumors to confirm what he was looking at in his brother's eyes and listening into his voice, Something really bad had happened to his brother while he had been out in that personal quest, why in Tartarus didn't he asked for help? why didn't he take someone with him on that quest? maybe he wouldn't be so damaged, so broken, so close to insanity's gates, or maybe he was already dwelling in there? Josh wasn't an expert with the sanity or insanity of others, in fact he couldn't even noticed how bad his girlfriend... sorry, now wife, it wasn't official but to Josh it was as if Juno herself had blessed the union, had been or was.

Zidane then replied, snappy, snarky and edgy... well those weren't at all good traits and even less if all of them were in a coctail in the mind of someone. Who could have hurt Zidane so much? Zidane had been one of the most balanced men that Josh had met in his life, so how could you turn a so well balanced mind into a bag of angry, crazy cats? He breathed deeply as his brother replied to him in such way, he finished his cigarrette and then dropped it to the ground, then stepped on it and rubbed it against the ground. Then he picked it up again and put it in his pocket. That was maybe too weird to see, but he wasn't going to leave the tail there so any child could pick it up and play with it. After he just do that, he looked at his brother again, calmly and patiently he looked for the right words, or maybe not the right ones but the ones that felt better in his mind.

He shook his head and smiled slightly. "Sorry? I would be insulting you if I felt sorry for you. and you're not just any roman, but my brother and a former praetor. No... sorry is an insult." he said then thought a second and continued. "snap... well snapping is something that almost all demigods do in this place, so I wouldn't find it out of order if you did it, I would worry if you'd started slashing throats around, but in general I don't find snapping a red alarm to indicate that someone is insane... so no brother... that isn't what would alarm me." Then he heard his laugh, it reminded him of certain goddess, so he frowned and looked directly at him. "I wasn't looking for reasurance from you, but maybe that I could give you some... or maybe I could help you around. You're still my brother and I worry about you. also... I wonder what happened to you."

[Deleted]

The biting attitude Zidane had been displaying a moment ago seemed to drain from him as he realized his half-brother wasn’t here to mock him. Some fragment in him wanted to reach out, but others held him back, like a crowd lived in his head and they were winning out. His eyes glazed over a little bit as he felt himself withdrawing. He didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to face this. He wished he’d listened to his own thoughts when he first woke up in the place Discordia had been holding him and not dared return to camp, but with all of the insistence the goddess had made in his dreams that he must go back, must help defeat Saturn, he had no choice. Coupled with the hollow hope that all of the dreams he’d had of his beloved being murdered were only dreams to break him, his feet had dragged him campward until he had the strength to teleport the rest of the distance.



Helplessly, Zidane roused himself from his thoughts again to face his brother, if a little unwillingly. He couldn’t stand the expression on the man’s face as he looked. It was like the others, his former friends who had come when they heard he was back, the same people who had help restrain him when he truly fractured upon finding out that the death of his love had actually occurred. From Discordia, this had been the cruelest hope of all. He had begged her in the darkness to tell him if it was true, but she had forsaken him to the place she’d held him and never answered. Never put him out of his misery. He didn’t know if he could forgive her for it for as long as he lived. Probably after, even.



He flinched when he heard his brother’s voice again, so gentle where his own voice had been so biting, and he didn’t think he could take it. He felt his eyes cloud over and blinked to restrain his reaction from spilling over. He chuckled weakly at Josh’s remark about demi-gods snapping, but shook his head sadly at the part about it not proving he was insane. “I’m sorry, but… I think my sanity is no longer intact. I know that if I am provoked the right way, I could kill… Kill people I used to want to protect. No, my only real allegiance is to the cause of killing Saturn.” He all but spat the name, anger building as quickly as he said it, but quelling again at his brother’s last comment. “I… Don’t need any help. And I wouldn’t begin to know how to tell you where I was… But if you really want to know, I will try. Just… Not here. I don’t want to see all of these people.” His form seemed to slump as he closed his eyes.


Word count: 482
Tag: Josh

[Deleted]

Tag: Zidane

Word: 464

Notes: So sorry about the delay!! I just didn't know if you'd stay or not. *hugs*

It was so weird to see his brother in such deplorable way. Zidane used to be the light for camp, he was always with a smile on his face, always willing to help others no matter what, not even that put him in the position of arguing with Remus Stone about the how's or why's of his desisions. Always with a wide and bright smile that could make the clouds of your worries just vanished and left you with a bright and warm feeling about the future. even before he was one of the Praetors, since he was a centurion and even when he was only a legionary, he always had that wide smile, that bright idea of the future.

When Josh got to camp when he was a kid, He was not a joyful kid, he was not a smiling kid with a bright future in mind. He smiled.... yes. But he smiled only to hide the pain and the infinite hate he felt. He tried to escape, tried to be ask snappy as he could be with his centurions and the former praetors, they usually sent him arrested for a week to the dungeons or only made him train twice or three times harder. Which he never felt as a punishment, maybe due his Mars blood. and when he was released he did that again. He simply wanted someone to put an end to his missery. But then Zidane was there, he was his brother by father's side, Mercury was both father.

Zidane showed Josh that there was more in life than only what he had lived before. but also all the possibilities he had ahead in his future. He was the one who taught him the secrets of teleporting, he wasn't much for stealing and robbing, but he for sure helped him and covered im whenever he did something like that. zidane along with Rhia were the ones who gave Josh a sense to his life after he got to camp. So when he saw his brother in such state, first he hated Saturn even more, then he wished Rhia had never joined him and last he wanted to help him no matter what. Maybe he was in deep troubles too, but he would try at least to help him.

He smiled when he said that he could kill those he wanted to protect in the past."yeah... lately that has been the reaction to the loss of a beloved one. But at least you're still with us and not ran to be with Saturn." remembering that guy from Third Cohort. Then he smiled again and nodded. "sure, you want to teleport somewhere or just a place where no one listens to us?" he asked and started walking with his brother.