Star Fall[Simons]

[Deleted]

It was never her kind of thing to sleep at night, during the day used to be a different story. Now she was getting used to the lull of never sleeping, not as long as she could help it. Some days she would collapse on her war strategies book, or if she was lucky she would make it to her room and fall face first into her bed. Nightmares were frequent, and normally she could control them once she realized what they were. Now was different, so very different. She had nothing to cling to anymore, no part of her that was stable enough to sit down and control the dream. If she even realized it was a dream, they seemed so real. The smell, the way she could feel and touch. Different dreams, her back in the dungeons being tortured, sometimes by Josh. Sometimes Gunnar. Dreams of the battle she had been in three years ago, dreams of the battle to come. Killing other demigods, this time killing her friends. No that wasn't right, she didn't have friends. Not like she deserved them in the first place. She deserved what she got, but she hadn't expected it. Again she was fooled into thinking anyone cared about her. She wouldn't make that mistake again. After watching the sun set from a perch atop the highest tower, she sat on the wall that surrounded it. The wall made to keep you from getting hit by arrows, to keep you from falling. Wouldn't help much if she scooted forward about two feet. Her eyes weren't fixed on the ground, not right now. They looked toward the sky, the moon, the stars. Everything that shone above. When she couldn't think herself into a tizzy with work, or on her spells, or too physically tired to train, she came here. Anything that didn't involve falling asleep. Nick sometimes would convince her to, just before those training days they had to run everyone into the ground. She didn't want to look weak, though she was. As the leader she couldn't afford any weakness. She wouldn't be like Stone or Kyoto, torturing information from anyone. She treated her prisoners well enough. She treated the people under her command well, and equal. She wasn't that good at not showing favoritism, but never forced anyone to do anything. Didn't force them to stay. It was a simple world, follow my rules or leave. Unlike Stone she wouldn't stop them from leaving. Even if they knew of her battle plans, they didn't know all of them. Likely Stone had spies in her forces already. He had plenty to choose from, not Josh or Gunnar since she knew their faces, voices, even their steps. When your trapped in a dungeon for a month you learn to recognize some people by foot steps Thinking of foot steps, a few came up the steps behind her. Even through the thick wooden door she could hear them echo in the tight stair case. Her sword was at her side, along with an assortment of daggers on her person. She wondered if she should invest in a personal guard, considering how many people could teleport or shadow travel. She eyes the door, but didn't reach for her sword, not yet.

Dear lord, when I get to heaven Please let me bring my man. When he comes tell me that you'll let him in, Father tell me if you can. Oh that grace, oh that body, Oh that face makes me wanna party. He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds. Tag: Edmund Words: 546 OOC: Let the not talking commence!!

Lyrics from Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: ^_^ ic: 644 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion i'm going u n d e r

Edmund had never been one for sleep. Not after the fire and especially not after the Legion. The Legion encompassed everything from training, to the last war, to meeting people, to getting pummeled, to breaking his arm, to being in the infirmary, to going on the quest. Going on the question warranted a category all by itself. Since coming here, there was no rock for him anymore. No stabilization. The only piece of sanity that he had managed to cling to was his machine: Cinny, and even that wasn't starting to cut it anymore. No more telling hallucinations, from dreams, from nightmares, from reality. They had all started to blend together, like when he had been in the infirmary for his arm. Faceless, muted voiced people who could've been anyone. Seeing them getting burned in front of his eyes... The fire coming for him. Always coming. He felt the heat scorch the back of his legs. His breathing hitched, coming in gasps. Panicking, but feeling nothing... Edmund's head collided against Cinny's metal frame. The metal robot gave a whimper, nuzzling up against his human. "Sorry," Ed muttered. "I'm sorry," he repeated thickly. Ed sat back up, staring at the wall, the side of his temple pulsing. The ache in his head hurt more than it should, but he didn't care enough to do anything about it. He could feel his body starting to give up from pure exhaustion. Just barely living off of unwilling microsleeps would do that. What was the point anymore? Reality with flashbacks and hallucinations were proving to be just as bad as nightmares. He couldn't tell the difference. There was no difference. "Can't do this, Cinny," he sighed, his words starting to slur together. But still nightmares felt worse, or something along those lines. He couldn't exactly describe it. "Can't...." he muttered, blinking rapidly and trying to even out his breathing. What was wrong with him? Ed gave the back of his own head a hit. He was a Legion solider and still part of an army. No weakness. Fresh air. Maybe that'd keep him up. Edmund started to aimlessly walk outside. He turned his eyes to the dark sky, littered with stars. A quiet voice in the back of his head, indistinguishable, laughing. "C'mon up here, Ed. It'll be our secret spot, okay?" He remembered he didn't want to be up that high. He didn't want to fall off the roof. "You'll be alright, buddy. I won't let you fall. You'll be safe. C'mon, before your mother gets us both in trouble." He couldn't remember what his dad looked like, but he did have an odd sensory memory of being held. Feeling safe. Just as James promised, he hadn't let his son fall off the roof. Roof... Roof. His eyes spotted a point on the castle. It looked higher than any of the others. Night after night of stargazing... He eyed the tower. That would do. Stars. Constant. Stabilizing. Everywhere. The same stars, no matter where you were. On his roof in Poughkeepsie. On the roof at Em's house. On the roof of his barrack. Under the night sky during the quest. From a look out tower on Mount Orthys. He worked his way upwards, his footsteps echoing around the tightly woven staircase. For a moment he hesitated, his quest instincts kicking in. Make too much noise and you could die. He shook his head. That wasn't the case here. Besides if he did die... so what? He continued to the heavy door and then pushed it open. Standing I front of him, Warlow. As if running into each other on top of a high tower was a nightly occurrence, Ed gave her curt nod. The innocent boy, the hardened solider, moved to the opposite wall and continued to stare out into the darkness. The darkness glittered with stars.

[Deleted]

It was Simons. If she remembered correctly he was about as lost in this huge place as she was at first. She still got lost sometimes, Josh was always her sense of direction. So many cases of her ending up laying down and reading because she had no idea where she was or how to get back to where she needed to be. Not that she had ever cared if someone needed her somewhere for stupid training. She always had this strange urge to do the opposite of what people told her to do. Even if it was for her own good, if they told her like a command she wanted the opposite. She'd skipped meals, stay up late, accidentally gotten herself impaled. Normal legion things, but because she was ordered to do the opposite. Calm down was her favorite. Because telling someone to calm down was the worst thing you could do. She had never seen that end up well, so at least it wasn't just her. If any forge kid were to make their way into the ranks of demigods here she was kinda glad it was Simons. None of that talking mess, just get the job done and move on. Sure in general most of them didn't talk much, but asked all kinda of questions about what you wanted made, or ignored you completely. Simons, you ask for something and give specific and he gets it done in as few words as possible. Like it was some kind of contest. One word? Too much, have to try and cut back the chit chat next time. Not to mention the trouble he gave Stone and Kyoto, definitely another plus in his direction. Even if he did let Felicity in and she managed to get away with Stone. She guessed it was kind of a blessing, it let them know they needed better security. Some Mercury kid could sneak in her and unlock the doors letting Neptune and Stone out. Who knew Rhiannon was a little bit of an optimist? She gave him a bit of a nod in greeting “Found the tower I see.” it was the first thing she had found when she got to the castle. Purely on lost accident, and now she could get from almost anywhere in the fortress to this tower. Finding her way out of the building was still proving difficult. Her eyes turned skyward again, wishing she had learned the constellations better, but deciding it was just as well to name them herself. She was pretty sure that's all they were, the gods weren't going to put a mortal or something in the stars out of kindness or something stupid. Especially when they weren't kind.

Dear lord, when I get to heaven Please let me bring my man. When he comes tell me that you'll let him in, Father tell me if you can. Oh that grace, oh that body, Oh that face makes me wanna party. He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds. Tag: Edmund Words: 454 OOC: A sentence!

Lyrics from Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: haha same here! ic: 471 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion like toy soldiers

Even after a month or so, Edmund still found himself getting lost, wandering aimlessly, and not knowing how the hell he’d get back to his room. Thankfully, Cinny had some sort of homing pigeon thing going on, so Ed could get back via shredder if he wanted. Most times though, he just let himself get lost. Nine times out of ten, he’d let himself get lost and would challenge himself to find his way back. Since it happened day in and day out, it got frustrating. Sometimes he even sat down and waited a few moments, trying to calm himself down. At the end of the day though, he’d get back to his room knowing he got some good brain exercise. He had never been good with directions. The quest had proven that. Edmund blinked. No. Do not go there. Edmund’s left hand started to twitch slightly, his fingers drumming against his leg as he stared at the stars. Stop. His vision tunneled and he started to see Lyn swimming in and out of view, a light, circular rainbow framing her face. Stop... “I…I know…” Edmund shut his eyes, hard. Felicity’s scream started echoing around his head. Stop. His eyes snapped open. He had never been good at taking orders. Even from himself. He hoisted himself onto the wall, mimicking Rhia’s position. Glancing down into the darkness, he didn’t need the previous visual of the tower to know that it would be a long way down. His decent would be long and painful if he fell. The damage would probably be fatal and irreversible: broken arms, broken legs, broken ribs… probably a punctured lung and cracked skull. At most, two feet separated Edmund from behind physically functioning to physically shattered. He looked down: even if he did fall… even if he did disappear in the vast halls of Mount Orthys, no one would care. He’d slip away, unnoticed. “What are you boys doing out here?” Faceless, muted, warped; warm but teasingly scolding. “C’mon Eddie, want to help Mommy out here and show her the drawings we made in the sky?” Two hands outstretched. Constellations. Completely made up constellations. His dad had gotten the idea from Lilo and Stitch. Stupid kids movie about someone born a monster trying to become good… “Suppose I did,” Edmund said, just loud enough for Warlow to hear him. His face was still turned to the sky outside, trying to find the old constellations he had made up. He had been thinking about doing this before too, but Mors had decided to swoop in. He had done it more than once on the quest while on guard duty. During the times Sinclair and the others hadn’t been bothering him. At least Warlow didn’t talk much.

[Deleted]

Maybe naming the constellations herself wouldn't help. She guessed she really wasn't all that creative with names. Made a little constellation out of Inek, silly little fuzzball. She missed him, but he could take care of himself. He could hunt, and beg. He didn't need her, no one really did. She knew that, always knew that but sometimes there were slap in the face reminders. She tried to avoid finding Josh in the constellations. Kerberus, Slepnir, Fenrir, mostly animal shapes really. Swords and shields were easy enough, straight lines that they tended to be. She tried to fine a few of those too, and her eyes found the shape of a thief holding two of them. She closed her eyes and turned away from the sky a bit. That wouldn't help. She couldn't do that, think about him. She was exactly what she always promised she wouldn't be. Not only a murderer, liar, traitor, and moral less beast, she was still in love with a man who didn't love her. Her fingernails found her skull and scratched back the hair from her face, leaving marks no one would see on her head. Part of her feared all Josh would have to do was show up and smile at her and she'd leave with him. She had to harden herself more. He didn't care about her, and she wouldn't fall for his words again. His lies. She didn't feel the awkwardness of silence, she never felt that. It was comforting. People were always so noisy, their voices trying to be heard over everything else. The rustle of the trees far below, or if it ever became quiet enough the blood in your ears. Even when Simons replied, it was enough for her to hear but not enough to carry across the quite sky. Not loud or obnoxious. Not like the people at camp who tried to force their friendship down your throat. Their version of it of course, the type that was more about lying and fake smiles. She didn't deserve real friends, so she supposed she shouldn't expect them. Shouldn't try to look for them in some child actor, or some son of Mercury. It was her fault for getting attached to them anyway. No one was who she thought they were. Stone wasn't a man of high morals, he let her to be tortured. Jason wasn't a kind hearted fool, he could bandage her up to make sure she could be tortured more. Josh wasn't her sweet thief, he was a camp lacky. She wasn't someone trust worthy, she was just a traitor. She deserved everything, and more, that she had gotten that week. She should have known Josh was too good to be true for her. Should have known power corrupts people. Should have known a lot better. Should have known to not let them break her heart. Now she could only promise not to let it happen again. No one, immortal or mortal would get near her again. She tugged at her hair a moment. Maybe she should cut it off. It was annoying and long anyway.

Dear lord, when I get to heaven Please let me bring my man. When he comes tell me that you'll let him in, Father tell me if you can. Oh that grace, oh that body, Oh that face makes me wanna party. He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds. Tag: Edmund Words: 520 OOC: aaand nothing

Lyrics from Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: yay for untalkativeness xD ic: 557 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion like toy soilders

edmund let the comforting sound of silence expand in the space between them. white noise filled his ears. he could hear the soft whistle of the wind moving through the cracks in the tower, the shaking of the leaves as they lifted a few inches off the ground. small nature sounds: much better than the human voice. he never understood why some people found silence awkward; it had always been more comforting and natural to him. no need to come up with a response or corrupt the stillness. no words, just signals that everyone seemed to miss. no talking, no trouble, nothing to use against anyone. compared to camp, this place seemed peaceful: no constant stream of annoying, in-your-face people who all wanted to talk at the same time. training when he wanted. sleep when he wanted (never, although that happened in camp too). he had his work down in the forges, which he had finally forced himself back into. the first week had been the roughest: basically him trying to convince himself he wouldn't die in there. finally though, he had gotten himself together. he was a roman for gods sakes. he couldn't not be fine. he couldn't show weakness. he had to pull himself through it, alone. nothing new there though. after he settled himself, there came a few minor scares and freak outs, but he had been able to stay in there to work. he had no one else but himself, but that was how it should be. him. alone. with no one. it was better that way. no one wanted him and he wanted no one. he was a grenade. poison. people had to stay away from him. he was fine by himself. always fine. the letters, the roses. meaningless. just a stupid ploy to lure him in, trap him, make him feel guilty. he looked to the stars, finding anything to distract his over active mind. bows and arrows. locked boxes. a sword. a shied. a hell hound. a paintball gun. he shoved the memories to the back of his mind. meaningless. Stars, so many stars all the time. edmund exhaled, his eyes tracking around the night sky. a friendship bracelet. a plane. something that looked akin to Hello Kitty. planes... he had given up on those. couldn't make one without accidentally cutting himself or screwing up the entire thing. then again, that's all he did, right? screw things up. ruin things. let people down. get people killed. he had even tried to let people in a little bit. trust them. the quest team. he had tried finding a stable acquaintance-y, almost friend-like structure, but it had all been a lie. just more proof. no one needed him. he needed no one. the concept of not trusting, not getting fooled, and not getting attached had long been drilled in his head, but the few months back at the legion just provided final proof. they all probably hated him by now and he knew he deserved it. gods forbid he ever got caught back on the other side. kyoto had already made it clear that traitors would come to no good end. then again, when did any heartless machine ever come to a good end? not that he cared. he was back to quest thinking: die now? whatever. no one to to miss him.

[Deleted]

The sky seemed to infinite over head, the stars tiny little specks when they were really entire galaxies. Stars burnt out millions of years ago, their light only just now reaching the earth. Reach for the stars, the light of hope with no substance. Sounded about right, there was no hope. Not really. Her hand stretched toward them, scooping them up and letting them pour from her finger tips, at least in her own imagination. Like everything else she enjoyed the stars were meaningless, though she supposed the fault was left in the emotion. She made a small snort and smirked. Those ridiculous things that made you act like an idiot. She didn't need those. Pesky little parasites that leached all the energy from you when it could be better used for planning, thinking. Useless pitiful things, emotion. If they killed the gods, or she supposed trapped since they can't die, would it be gone? Would people never have to love someone or something to only have it torn from them? Would people never have to feel that way again? Maybe. Discordia was still a problem, she happened to side with Saturn. Supposedly a good thing, every hand helps or some garbage like that. Vaguely aware of the breathing of the other person Rhiannon kept a small notice of his presence. He was supposed to be on her side, but so was Josh. Cursed emotions, she hated them and wished she could just replace her heart with an ice cold machine. Technically that was possible, the actual heart and not the metaphorical one. The only way to really get rid of emotions was to have sever head trauma. She just had to do the stupid Roman thing and suck it up, push them back, lock them away. Whatever it took to move forward. That's where she was going, forward. There was no going back anyway. Not a thing she would go back and change, expect letting herself know that Josh was a double agent or that he was a complete liar. Not that she'd have believed anyone who told her that only a couple months ago. Those pesky emotions again she supposed. Her hands found the cold stone beneath her as she leaned forward, her eyes tracing up into the sky again. The sweet symphony of nature in her ears, as long as she ignored the slight human component. Not very hard to do, Simons didn't make himself noticed. His breath kind of blending into the wind as it tousled the trees, and whistled around the curves of the castle. Any warmth either of them gave off was taken by the night air, and she didn't mind. Cold left you with a thought more than an emotion. Cold was calculating, cold was how they described people like her. Cold was home, like the silence.

Till the walls are going up In smoke with all our memories Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie. Tag: Edmund Words: 474 Notes: No Talking club!

Lyrics from Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: yay for silentness lol ic: 495 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion nothing but a  m o n s t e r

edmund shut his eyes slightly before opening them again to the vast, star lit sky. could he just pretend that he was back on his roof when he was a child? nothing wrong with the world... everyone was a good person, and life was freeing, playful... and happy. and then he set his house on fire and stuff happened. a lot of stuff. the world was dark, cold, and cruel. people where out to get you, nothing was equal, no one was free, and there certainly was no time for play. work all the time if you want to stay alive. and what was the point in that anymore, anyway? nightmares, daydreams, hallucinations, flashbacks, they would all blend together. edmund no longer needed to be asleep for his thoughts to haunt him. even all the way in europe they couldn't just leave him alone. the gas that showed him what could have been. it had felt so real... maybe if someone could infect him with that again right before battle or something. he'd be knocked out and easy target, but at least he'd die happy. a foreign thought, happiness and being wanted. he thought he had felt it once, a few months ago... without the gas, but, looking back now, he knew he was wrong. he had been mistaken in everything: the quest team, the quest, the legion, his cohort, just everyone. no one cared. he wasn't needed. besides, they weren't the ones who were murderous monsters. they deserved to be happy... so he left. as his thoughts floated away, so did his awareness that he was, in fact, on top of a tall tower with another human. ignoring the other demigod across from him, edmund glanced downwards. the thought had come to him on his rooftop in Poughkeepsie, and again whenever he was on the rooftop of his barrack. he could drop off, easily. if he moved too far forwards, he could just fall straight off the tower. he could die, and he was okay with it. the quest had pushed him a bit beyond the caring point. what was the point in worrying that you could die at any second? the faster one accepted death as a possibility, the better. besides, war was getting closer. death was going to be a reality soon. so, here he was, a hundred or so feet up in the air with not a care to give. no attachment or feelings to get in his way now. camp was behind him, his new life with saturn ahead. no one could use people or faults against him, especially since he had come to terms with them. nothing to acknowledge or deny... just knowing. just accepting everything as true. traitor? yes. horrible person? definitely. monstrous? probably. edmund felt his hand twitch over the cold stone, the night breeze robbing them of any sort of warmth. still, edmund sat there, letting it sink in... letting it take over like a second skin.

[Deleted]

Was this even considered living? She wasn't dying, narrowly avoiding that. Not sleeping, not eating, it was more like her body would force her to keep going. She'd pass out for sleep, her body would erode her muscles if she didn't eat. It was programmed to stay alive as long as possible, stupid thing. She needed her muscles, otherwise how was she going to beat Stone, and Rogers? Rogers was her first target. She already claimed him, to everyone who was under her command, she told them they could hurt him, incapacitate him, but she was going to kill him. Not a revenge thing, it was a promise. A stupid promise that held no meaning, but one none the less, or so she told herself. She hated breaking promises, if she let herself she might even get broken up over breaking her promise to leave with Rogers. To leave camp, what a foolish promise. He never meant to stay with her. Evident by when he left her in the dungeon. Seven times that acquaintance of Remus and Jason met her, though it seemed like an eternity. A week without talking to anyone except a torturer and those who hired him. Such lovely conversations, and she had no problems telling anything they asked about her personal life, it didn't matter much anyway. A few things about the relic, like how it would bring all the evil vile things back to Pandora's Pithos. Perhaps Saturn wasn't lying about that, but wouldn't that also bring their power to him? That was undoubtedly what he was after, oh well. Stone and Kyoto don't know, but it will hurt them. Yeah she finally had the freedom do things. Busy herself to not be left with only her thoughts. That nagging demon at the back of her mind. Let to think about nothing but herself and her situation nearly drove her crazy, but the voice was a perfectly normal thing. Quite possibly real, considering gods and nymphs where real. Yes. She was certain the voice was real, it echoed so clearly for a while. As if it were next to her speaking, not that hallow sound you have from the voices in your head. If she kept her mind busy it couldn't wind itself around her thoughts, so that's what she did. Don't stop. Don't sleep. Not hard when you were on your way to a war. When you're planning a war. Not to mention the unbelievable amount of paperwork it needed, why does everything need paperwork? It should be regulation to kill those who break her rules, but numbers were important. She needed everyone. Which meant papers, on everyone. Joy. A gust of wind came from her side, and she gripped onto the wall to keep herself steady. Her feet spread to balance against the side of the wall, her fingers gripping the back edge. She was used to them, coming up here every night it was a regular thing. It was what wind did, though she took a glance behind her to make sure Simons hadn't fallen off. What a thing to write on a grave stone “Blown over like a leaf”

Till the walls are going up In smoke with all our memories Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie. Tag: Edmund Words: 582 Notes: No Talking club!

Lyrics from Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: LOL. silence! ic: 579 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion going under

Being a solider in the legion was an occupational hazard. Being on the quest was an occupational hazard. Heck, living was an occupational hazard. Especially the way he was living. Vicarious living. Barely living, actually. But then again, he felt like that was all of the turned traitors at Saturn's Camp. Not much food, not much sleep. No heat. Just cold stone. Just blah. Emptiness. Complete emotional shut down. When he was having a good day, he'd train and work in the forges. On a bad day, he'd sit in his room, feeling like he did when he was trapped in the infirmary for a month. The only sort of entertainment he got was when idiots from the legion decided to drop by. The only sort of adequate sleep he got was when Rhia took it upon herself to knock him out ever three or four days. There were spots in his memory where he couldn't remember what had happened. All he knew was that he was doing something one moment, and then waking up in a completely remote location another..... Stop it... It's not real it's not real... I killed them... What am I? Circuit City? If your powers are dulled, what the hell do you think that would make mine? Ed come on. Get UP! Sleepy head! You boys are so LAZY! Edmund's body jerked forward. HOLY CRAP EDGE. 100 foot or so drop. Right. It would probably be in his best interest to scootch himself backwards a few inches. ..... probably. Maybe... Edmund looked at the half a foot that separated himself from air. After a second of contemplation, he decided to move backwards. Note to self: Try not to fall asleep fall while on the tower. It could end up falling into a permeant sleep as he died from the fall. Yup, definite death on impact. In a way, it would almost be too kind. No blinding pain of broken bones or punctured lung or anything, just falling, falling... and then nothing. Nothing. It wouldn't be that far from what he was feeling now. Sure, he was free from people bothering him and everything, but he was left alone with his thoughts. Arguably, that was 100xs worse. At least he could always bicker with Cinny. Technically just talking to himself, like he had after the fire and while at Em's place, but whatever. Cinny, wall, stuffed animals, all one in the same: venting mechanisms. Not that he did it often, but it was always good to have an inanimate outlet to rant to. It wouldn't talk back, it wouldn't judge, it would just sit there and take it. Ed gritted his teeth, glaring back at the stars again. Gods, this wind. Him falling asleep plus the wind could probably tip him off this tower. Yup, definitely do not fall asleep up here. Either that, or don't sit so close to the edge. Then again, wasn't that what life was about? Living on the edge? Not being afraid of falling? Accepting the fact that you could fall and potentially wouldn't get up if the ground was so far down? A slight scowl flickered across his face. This was what lack of sleep did to him. Stupid thoughts turned somewhat philosophical. What the hell did he know about philosophy? He didn't have the emotions or anything human to connect with it. Yeah, he was just going a bit delirious. A bit crazy. Then again, when had he not been?

[Deleted]

Music saved her, and it killed her. It might have been a while since she had gotten anything new, it was always Josh who got her to listen to new music. He always left New Rome. Now she was out in the world, and there was so much stupid songs that she hadn't heard before, and wonderful ones. Things she could relate to that could make her angry, or give her energy, and there were songs that killed her a little inside. She'd listen to those songs over and over again, though she wasn't exactly sure why. Things that would make her stare at the ceiling for hours thinking about Josh. Rogers, she didn't like using his first name. Not anymore. Using the last name was a good way to distance yourself. Rogers, Kyoto, Jolly. People she used to spend a bit of time with, people who seemed to understand her. Wasn't that why they sent Jolly in before sending that torturer? She wished she knew his name, calling him as Stones shadow buddy, or torture specialist seemed too long and drawn out. Tugging a bit at her shirt she looked at the jagged cut marks on her shoulders, and the scars over her fingers. They healed rather nicely, probably because of Kyoto. Deranged idiot taking joy in the painful disinfecting of her woulds. So had the torturer, but with lemon instead of alcohol or peroxide. Someone might think she was weak for thinking that hurt, but if your finger tips had been ripped off with a dull knife and then disinfected with lemon, you might not be laughing. It obviously wasn't the worse he could go, but apparently Stone had his limits on what he could handle. If Rhiannon had such a person, she'd make sure anything she had that torturer do she herself could stomach doing. Though she supposed it was one of those things, let the dark side deal with the not so pleasant things while you sat trying to be all good and proper. Simons was fine. Well if a gust of wind hadn't knocked her little fourth cohort butt off the tower she supposed a first cohort should do better. Though who'd really miss him if he had fallen? Possibly Trivia, the woman who brought him. She didn't trust him or her, not that it was saying much considering she trusted no one now. They were all the same after all. Lying, cheating humans. Even the gods, just large over privileged humans. Stupid, greedy, and ego's the size of this mountain. So what was she her for? She didn't like humans, didn't like the gods, didn't trust either of them. It didn't really matter what she did then did it? Little her couldn't make a difference anyway. She never could and never would. If she died, she'd just be replaced as commander. Nothing too difficult to do. She doubted Saturn even cared. Camp Jupiter was nothing to the immortals. Any of them. So really this was just a bit of chaos to happen in the spare time, a few worshipers to get his blood and ego pumping., that's all they were.

Till the walls are going up In smoke with all our memories Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie. Tag: Edmund Words: 526 Notes: Blarg

Lyrics from Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: aha. sry about the wait! ic: 503 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion f a l l i n g is just like f l y i n g

ever since turning cinny into a part time radio, edmund didn't know what to make of all the music. some of it was way too happy. some of it was way too close to home. he had told cinny to shut up a fair amount of times. seemed like the morals could do something deep every once and a while. not exactly good for him, but at least they were thinking beyond everything always being so spiffy and happy and twenty-one. besides just having something to do, it made him listen to something other than white noise. of course, he didn't mind it, but as of late, he had gotten used to something in the background: ethan or lyn's mindless prattle, the sound of the river, people from around the legion screaming and yelling at each other, the crackling of fire, the crashing of under bushes by squirrels or birds... Anything to distract him from his own mind. He used to have plane making, but he had long given that up. He sighed, feeling the breeze ruffle his hair back. For some reason, on a night like this, it reminded him of his mother. Ever since the day and night in the ruins, his parent's images and voices had solidified. Their faces were no longer blurry; their voices no longer muddled. No, now he remembered them clearly... and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Before, he would've given anything to remember them... just as they were. Now, all he could see was what could have happened if he hadn't been born a demigod. What his life could have been if he was normal. He could've had a real family. He could've been happy. He wouldn't have nightmares or wake up screaming. He wouldn't need to constantly watch his back, wondering if he'd be killed by a monster or another demigod. He wouldn't have to become a solider at ten years old. Wouldn't have to grow up so fast. Wouldn't have become a murderer at age eight. Most importantly, he wouldn't have met anyone from the legion. He wouldn't be here, slowly deteriorating from loss of appetite and refusal to sleep. Once again, he looked down the side of the tower. Falling is just like flying, except there's a more permeant destination. Flying... What had happened to that one flying plane he had made? He didn't remember... Had he given that one to Trivia too? Probably. He had let her take all of them, after all. She had said that she was going to give his planes to kids in need or something along those lines. Had she actually been serious? Had she actually given them out? Or where they rotting in a land fill somewhere? If she had kept her word, who had them now? Someone who had been as obsessed with planes as he had? Someone who liked them as much as Meg had? Or just someone who was desperate for something to distract him or herself with... like him?

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Sometimes she would remember. Rogers. Her hopes, and dreams, the joy she felt with him. It was so wonderful. She thought she might have really found someone to trust. Someone she could always count on. That's what he was for years. Half her life he was there with her and for her. Since they met when she was eight. He was so annoying, but he never left her alone. He stole, like the thief he would always be, but he had a good heart. Or so she thought. It was painful sometimes, all the time. Remembering. Thinking of how happy they were. How they laughed, and joked. When she confessed her feelings to him, that took a lot of courage. Then they played hooky and went on a date instead of going to cohort practice. Not that it was, by the book, any different than normal. It was different though. It was their first date, and it lead to more. Nothing really changed, they hung out, she yelled when he was stupid. He laughed and told her when she was being too hard on herself. He was her hero. He saved her so many times, and she never told him. She thought he was great, not morally perfect. He stole, he got angry and teleported people to dangerous places, but to her everything about him was perfect. Then he left for the quest. He was gone for six months, and maybe even before that he had stopped caring about her. If he really cared in the first place. He never messaged her. Alone with Weingarten on that cursed quest for six months. He was never loyal to any other girl, she knew his past. His girlfriend. She was no different. Both went on a six month quest, both betrayed Saturn. Yeah. She should have seen it coming. Left in a dungeon with that torturer. Rogers no doubt knew about him. He knew everything, at least everything secretive. So her logic ran it's course. The person she trusted, the only person she trusted, left her with a torturer so his camp could be saved. Not just left her with a torturer. He left her completely. Everyday she sat in that bed, hoping it would be Josh coming down those stairs. Hoping those soft barely audible footsteps where his. No. It wasn't, ever again. Until finally Saturn was the one at the end of the footsteps, that was when she knew, Josh wasn't ever coming back for her.

Till the walls are going up In smoke with all our memories Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie. Tag: Edmund Words: 416 Notes: #sobbing

Lyrics from Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey
Code done by step

[Deleted]

ooc: >.< FEELS ic: 430 tag: rhiannon warlow credit to oblivion and i'll fade a w a y

In a way, Edmund wished that someone would clock him over the head hard enough to make him forget. Hollywood-ized, complete wipe, but in reality, it wasn't that simple. Even in Felicity's case, she had begun to remember in trickles. He needed a complete wipe with no way of remembering. No more family, no more pain, no more memory of being a demigod. No more memory of camp, the campers, or the immortals. Sure, it would get him killed faster: a monster would come after him, he'd have no idea what was going on, he'd have no knowledge of fighting. All he'd have to go off of for survival was his ADHD, which could only help him evade a monster for so long. Or maybe the monster could trigger his memory. That would suck. After all his efforts to lose them, one simple thing could start the trickle back. All his effort, gone. He would've failed, again. Like he had ever succeeded in anything. Then again, even getting them back could be torturous. Remembering only in drops, like Felicity. He had seen the way getting the memories back slowly had messed around with Felicity for a month. He had been there to witness the remembrance of a random event. Him. Paint balling. Little had she known it had been so much more. Starbucks, the quest, making her Metal Bird... She had even told him her plans of traveling a bit, but fear had held her back... Wasn't it always holding them back? Fear... Emotion. He tried to empty himself of those long ago. The Legion certainly helped hit along. Why hurt so much when you could as easily shut it out? Like an on/off toggle. They said it was impossible. They said it was biologically impossible. Yet here Edmund Simons was to prove them all wrong. Stony face, flat voice. No one would ever know until it was too late. He could be as morally ambiguous as he wanted. He could turn coat at the drop of a dime (which in all reality, was exactly what he had done). He could keep his reasons to himself, giving no explanations. He was his own moral agent. His own boss. A rebel without a cause. A function mute. The creepy lurker. One of the replaceable soldiers. One of the replaceable forge monkeys. The less people knew about him, the better. He breathed out through his nose, his eyes losing focus over the trees. He could fall asleep again... fall asleep and fall off... But he forced his eyes open. Forced himself awake.

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What was the point of memories anyway? When you remembered fondly it hurt, when you remembered pain it hurt. Who needed them? She could remember the joy she felt, the sadness, the anger and it would all add to the annoyance she felt now. The madness knocking at the back of her mind every moment of every day. People are worthless trash, just get it over with and kill them all. People could be kind when they wanted look at the good things they've done. Her mind argued back forth before, it always had. With Josh with her the kindness of people normally won. How good people could be, sacrificing themselves and their health to save a total stranger. Now? Now he was just a shining example of what was wrong with people. So was she, as always. Even the boy sitting on the opposite side of the tower. Selfish. People lie, cheat steal and anything else they want to do whenever they could. Josh was fast and could steal, so he did. Josh could trick her, so he did. She tricked people, she stole, she killed. That little girl, the one who visited Josh in the infirmary. Who followed Simons around like a puppy. She wasn't an exception. No one was an exception. All terribly flawed, worthless beings hurting anything and everything they got their hands on. They deserved to have the privilege of an open mind taken from them. Nothing good came from the freedom man kind had. She could pick off all the things she had seen in the new, the things she had seen that burned themselves into her memories from when she lived on the streets. Things not fit for a pg-13 setting. Her hands balled into fists and she quietly pounded on the frond of her head. Trying to will the voices away. To will the arguing in her mind away. She loved her mind; to think, to read, to learn; but at the same time she hated it. Too much thinking, too much reading, too much learning. Learning of all the terrible things people do, things she could never forget in a million years. Thinking about how to stop it, thinking about how people fight to keep their freedoms. How people find ways to break laws. How other people can think, and learn just as well as she could. That could do it a million times better than she could. She rested her hands on her head, the soft pain in her skull sending a dull throb throughout her brain. She probably killed a few brain cells, nothing too problematic though. She wouldn't need them after the war anyway. She wouldn't need anything. She couldn't live in the dream world she was working for. She couldn't be a puppet for anyone much longer. She hoped it would end before she broke away. Before she would get tired of this person who thought they were so much better than humans, who thought he could order her around. Yeah, authority problems.

Till the walls are going up In smoke with all our memories Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie. Tag: Edmund Words: 506 Notes: ALL THE FEELS

Lyrics from Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey
Code done by step