Over and Over || Open

[Deleted]

ooc: because i'm museful and ed wouldn't shut up.  ic: 485 tag: open credit to oblivion slipping away

Ever since finding the tower, Edmund had made going up there a nightly thing. He built it into his routine: go up, acknowledge Warlow's presence, spend the rest of the night in silence. On occasion he'd wake up on the floor of the tower, without any remembrance of falling asleep (then again, when did ever remember going to sleep of his own will?). That'd be Warlow's sleeping spells trying to keep him alive. Trying to prevent him dying from lack of sleep. Drinking, force sleep, and the micro-sleeps his body insisted on were probably the only things keeping him alive as of now. The food was fine here too, but he had little to no appetite anymore. Not like he ate well before Orthys, anyway. His room was usually cold, but he didn't mind that; they had been in worse conditions on the quest. Life at Orthys was almost like the Legion, minus the mass amount of people: train, forge, eat, sleep, strictly in that order. Getting back in the forges had been hard, but after a while, he had forced himself in, just like the other two times. He’d still have occasional freak outs, but they had started to become fewer and farther between. If he lived long enough, maybe he’d be entirely comfortable with the forge and fire. Maybe… one day… probably not. Today was a "I woke up in the tower because Warlow forced me to sleep" day. Edmund shut his eyes, sitting up and rubbing his temples. His temporary jacket-blanket fell off his chest. What day was it? What time was it? Ah well, no matter. At least her spells forced him to not dream. Dreaming was bad on principle, but dreaming especially within the next month would be... not good. He stood up, stars bursting infront of his eyes. The first few steps were stumbling; trying not to fall over as he felt the blood drain out of his head. A dull ache in his head started to build as a high pitch wining sound started in his ears. After a few moments, the stars and white noise cleared away and Ed was able to walk in a straight line. Now… back… to… somewhere. Probably his room. Or the forges. Whichever he came to first. Which one came first, anyway? Edmund’s left hand twitched as the right one raised to rub his temples again, the makings of a headache still present. “How long have you not slept?” came a patronizing voice in the back of his head. “Well, I just woke up, idiot,” he snapped, turning around to glare at the person. It took him a moment to realize that no one was there. He exhaled before opening the tower door and descending. He just walked, letting his feet take him wherever. To the forge. To his room. Or just letting him get lost. He didn’t care.

PS: along with ed being ed, i'm trying to write with real life symptoms of sleep depravation and (i've actually tried doing this ever since the end of the quest. not sure if it was noticeable or not though) ptsd. if any of you have any pointers or suggestions etc, feel free to give 'em!

[Deleted]

There he was. The dark haired boy that, while he might not enjoy the gods and their pestering means, was awfully fun for them. Though, Venus did feel some sympathy for the boy. None she would ever admit anyway. Since love takes no side Venus was enjoying a simple visit to this dreadful mountain of Saturns. It was just coincidence she spotted the young demigod. She started to follow him after hearing his answer into nothingness. She sped up her pace to catch up to him.

"Simons." Venus said giving the young man a respected nod. They had met a couple times before. Though their last meeting didn't turn out all that well. Oh well, you win some you lose some. Besides, the love goddess was bored. But no a bored so I'm going to ruin your life kind of mood. No, she just wanted someone to talk to and honestly the gods were not the best company at times. With them it was always the same type of conversation. At least mortals had new topics every now and then. And if Edmund decided he didn't want to talk that was fine too. She would just walk with him. Not like she had anything else to do. She could figure out how the little son of Vulcan spent his days.

While she despised his horribly figured father this young demigod wasn't all that bad. He wasn't ugly like his father, that was for sure. If he wasn't so antisocial he might even had had a girlfriend by now. Or boyfriend, she really wasn't sure which way the boy swung, not that she cared either way. Love was love. Heck, for all she knew he could be romantically attracted to robots. Perhaps Simons would end up like that bloke Pygmalion. Make someone in his perfect image of a lover. Venus gave a slight amused smirk at the idea. It worked for Pygmalion though. Even went on to have kids with his statue turned wife. Just how did he achieve that? Well, thanks to her of course. Love was love. She would help anyone with follow their love. Parents to a child, lover to lover. It was all the same, just different forms of her favorite subject. Her smirk diminished though as he face turned neutral.

Edmund probably despised her the most, or at least thought she was the most stupid immortal in existence. Not many people understood her true nature. They just saw her promiscuity that was highlighted in all the myths. Curse those Romans and Greeks. They never did enjoy promoting her less adulterous myths. No matter. The past was the past. Best to keep walking forward towards the future.

words: 451
notes: Sorry, I miss Eddiekins. If you don't want this reply I can get rid of it.

[Deleted]

ooc: omgods threading with jackie!! <3 no no!! of course i'd love to thread with yousss!! ic: 456 tag: venus credit to oblivion you had a choice you've made it now

you know this is no way to live, right? edmund rolled his eyes. "i'm breathing, aren't I?" as long as he pushed air through his lungs, edmund simons considered himself living. perhaps this wasn't the sort of live-your-life-out-to-the-fullest living people usually strove for, but he was alive, in the most biological sense. not brain dead. heart still pumping. still breathing. all he had to do was drink water, eat every now and again, and let himself fall prey to micosleeps (or knockouts) as they came. edmund moved on. his adhd and first cohort training awoke inside him, making him aware of the footsteps behind him. maybe those were in his head too. maybe they weren't. well, if they wanted to take a kill shot, they could go right ahead. then again, they hadn't yet, so why bother with them? at the sound of his name, edmund came to a halt. "could you just shut up for once?" talking to himself. whatever. it wasn't like anyone was around to hear him. no. this time he wouldn't indulge his instinct to turn around, only to realize that he was talking to no one. but... as he thought about it, it wasn't the same, patronizing voice he had grown accustomed to. it didn't have the small little echo at the end. it didn't sound like a warped version of felicity, lyn, and meg smushed into one. it sounded like someone he knew, and in all honesty, the person (or rather immortal) that came to mind just made the situation worse. honestly. the world existed to annoy him. he had left camp to escape these pains. but no, even after he arrived at mount orthys, they wouldn't leave him alone. first it was discordia, then it was mors, and now venus had decided to get in on the fun. would mars be next? mercury? hell, why not bring all the immortals over to orthys? just give them an "annoy the demigods" freebie day. "Venus," Edmund said, still not turning around. "What do you want? Come to have me hallucinate a bit more?" he asked. Last time they had met... it hadn't exactly gone over well. It had been at Orthys too, almost a week after he had joined up. Why did she insist in sticking around or visiting this often? Didn't she have people to worry about over in camp? Y'know. The place that actually did support and defend the gods? He didn't didn't even wait to listen to a response. Instead, he turned around, glaring at the goddess behind him. "Well let me just make your visit short. No, I don't want help. No, I won't answer the 'Do you intend to harm camp or just the immortals' crap question."

[Deleted]

Venus gave an amused smirk as she rolled her eyes at his beginning retort. Playing magician was fun at the beginning but it had grown boring. She'd leave that for the other gods to have fun with. She preferred playing with the heart rather than the mind but even she wasn't in the mood to wound this demigod any further. He was wounded enough. He had the obvious disheveled look of someone without much sleep. Heck, he looked a half step away from falling into Mors grasp at times. It was a wonder that he was still standing, though she had heard that Trivias daughter knocked him out or something. Probably not good for the brain, but then again, they were working for Saturn, they were already brain dead enough.

Then the young Vulcan boy made an assumption. Just because he may have been bugged by other immortals on such an issue didn't mean that Venus was interested. She gave an annoyed sigh. "Well gee, there goes all my conversation topics." Venus stated annoyed and in a cold manner. Honestly, she only messed with the kid once and you would have thought she killed his puppy or something. It's not like it was her who killed his parents and sister. She took a deep breath, best to get those negative emotions out.

"Despite what you think. I didn't com here to pester you. I just figured you and I could walk the hallway in silence together. I'm not all that bad you know." Venus said defensively. Always being judged. How foolish of them. She had just a right as him to walk down this hallway. She was completely neutral in the war and therefore had a right to walk with the demigods here at this cold, gray mountain and to walk with the demigods in the bright, warm Camp Jupiter. It's not like she was him. No, Edmund ran away from Camp because he was being bullied. What a wimp. His dad had more of a backbone and that was saying something considering how much Venus hated that old brute and would rather not have him be better than anyone in any certain topic. However, it seems the apple does not fall far from the tree and as much as the dark haired teenager next to her denied it, he was indeed his father, Vulcan's son.

words: 405
notes: kinda short, sorry about that D:

[Deleted]

ooc: all good <3 ic: 462 tag: venus credit to oblivion you had a choice you've made it now

edmund (and probably a few others around orthys) had grown into the walking embodiment of "dead on their feet". forge, eat, sleep. in that order. it had just become worse with the passing years. worse and worse... and then the quest and it all went to hell. edmund winced slightly, pressing his index fingers into his eyes until he saw stars. he was going crazy. that was it... no reason to deny it. he had always been crazy, but he was finally just... going down the rabbit hole. who cared if venus was here or not? who cared what her reasons where? he just needed her to know that he wasn't playing along in their games. all of them were the same, just here to antagonize the demigods. neutral, gods, or titans. it made no difference. immortals. eternal chaos and manipulation. edmund ignored the sudden iciness in the goddess' voice. it didn't phase him. he was pretty sure that's what he sounded like when he was angry. she almost sounded like em when ever she saw him doing... anything, really. heck, half the people at the legion probably sounded like that then talking on a daily basis. he'd probably gone numb to it. "Oh, what a tragedy," he spat right back. of cares to give, he had around -100. back talking to a god? sassing back? sure, it could get him killed, but it wasn't like he wasn't a dead man already. besides, he didn't want to engage in conversation with a goddess. she seemed pretty ticked about his little spiel. oh pity. he didn't care if he made assumptions. he didn't care what she was here for anymore. bleh. whatever. he didn't care. she just wanted to... walk with him? what kind of sick trick was this? edmund's left hand started to drum against his pant leg. just walk with him? wasn't that bad? "right..." he muttered. Last time she just "wanted to walk with him", she had impersonated Lyn and Felicity. He still had the soccer ball. It gave him something to do. Reminded him of the few afternoons he spent with Felicity, looking like an idiot and trying to act like a normal mortal. A normal mortal who played soccer for an after school activity. He didn't have anyone to play with here... no one human, that was. The goddess wasn't going leave knowing that though. There was a dull ache starting in the back of his head. He was wasting his time here. If she was good on her word, he'd just move on and ignore her. If she went back on her word, he could do the same thing: just ignore her. He was tired. He was so tired of this. "okay, fine. whatever," he muttered, turning around.

[Deleted]

Venus watched the boy. Saying he was a man of few words was an understatement. Trees talked more than him. Though, that wasn't a very good example seeing as how trees had nymphs sometimes who were quite chatty. They were also annoying, thinking they were better than everyone else. What a snooty nature nature had. No one no female likes Mother Nature, though that was for a whole different reason too. Though, it did seem to fit.

She walked with the boy. He looked so tired. Perhaps she could put a word into Somnia to help the boy sleep. Lack of sleep did nothing for anyone. It was one of the most important human functions. Plus, everyone looked cute when they were curled up in a deep sleep. Their face no longer shows signs of worry or stress, well, unless they have a nightmare, but if Venus did go talk to Somnia she would make sure to give him a pleasant dream. One of his hearts desire. Venus smirked at the thought. It actually sounded like a good idea. Not that she would tell Edmund or anything. No, if she did that he would probably show his animal side and give a growl and snark about he doesn't want help from anyone. That was just the way he was, must be in the genes. Vulcan wasn't a fan of help either from Venus heard. But she would be willing to help Edmund out, secretly. It would be a different game for her to play. Instead of making the boys life a living hell, why not try to make it better?

That was what her mind was on as they walked in silence, being true to her word. It was actually kinda relaxing, just walking. No conversation to get annoyed at or follow silly social standards. Nope, just a nice walking with a little comfort in knowing someone else was there. Plus, if they happened to pass by anyone, or thing, Venus wasn't sure all what kind of creatures Saturn was currently giving hospitality too, but they wouldn't look like total loner losers. She was pretty sure that was how everyone saw Edmund anyway. A lonely loser. They were wrong. He was a ball of raw potential. He was a genius when it came to making things, another trait he must have gotten from his father. But he was capable of so much, he just needed to open up more. Not that Venus was going to force him to open up. No, she was taking a different approach. Just being there. If he didn't need her, that was fine, if he did, she would be there. She would look over him from a distance, almost like a caring mother. It worked for heros in the past. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time an immortal started to claim a hero as their own project. It had been done with Achilles, Prometheus, and others. It was almost like a ritual they did. Someone they looked over and secretly helped. Yes, she claimed Edmund as her hero. She would help him secretly until she deemed he no longer needed help. All those other Olympians will have to find a different mortal to sink their claws into.

words: 552
notes: well, the muse lead me in a weird direction....

[Deleted]

ooc: haha all good <3 ic: 577 tag: venus credit to oblivion you had a choice you've made it now

After a certain age, especially at school, Edmund had learned how to just shut up and reply with as few words as possible. He began associating less words with less punishment. The less he opened his mouth, the less trouble he'd get in. even if he did something good and talked, he'd get into trouble. his first instance had been him fixing the broken computer. second instance, he had been trying to help someone who was being bullied. as he grew, it sort of became a game. How much could he say with a look and a five word or less limit? Over the span of his time at the Legion, he had almost perfected it. Of course, there was no such thing as perfection, but he had gotten rather good at it. of course, him hitting a fellow Pre-k student with a chair didn't take many words, but him telling the adults that she had been a "monster" hadn't helped at all. it had been a fairy with pointy teeth to be exact, but the adults didn't appreciate him making excuses or making up stories to account for his potentially dangerous behavior. no one seemed to care that he was on a "to kill" list. that apathy extended even more as he entered the legion. hell, he was probably on the entire camp's "to kill" list these days. hell, now he was a monster himself. kill, backstab, manipulate... all to get what he wanted. gods. what had happened since then and now. the alarming rate of change was enough to make his head spin. True to her word, the goddess walked with him in silence. This had to be the third time this happened. First with Mors, then with Warlow, now with Venus. Albeit it had taken them various amounts of time to shut up, Warlow being the winner for the fastest, but inevitably, it had come down to silence. No stupid small talk. If she had anything important enough to tell him that wouldn't get a sword at her throat, she was free to open her mouth. If not, he didn't see any reason for them to talk. He continued walking down the hallway, no destination in mind. Of course, he'd have to go train sooner or later, just to stay in shape for a possible, future fight. Maybe it was true... what they said about sleep deprivation. It wasn't like he usually wasn't a jerk or on edge, but as of late, he had just wanted to snap heads off. He had already done a few stupid things that could've gotten him killed, so there was the impulsivity. Only thing that hadn't happened yet, was him losing a fight due to motor skill impairment via sleep loss. That would come. Maybe his ADHD would save him from that one, maybe not, but it was a possibility. And what did Edmund Simons learn from this careful consideration? Nothing. He still didn't want to go to sleep ever again. Sure, the microsleeps and Warlow knock outs helped, but they would only keep him functioning for so long. It wasn't like he wanted help from Somnia or anything. If anything, the god would probably make it worse, just to screw with him. Edmund didn't know what side was on for the war or anything, but the immortal had turned the reckless demigod into an animal. Pulling a stunt like that gave an immediate ticket to the enemy list.

[Deleted]

Living forever almost made humans boring. If it weren't for their innovation Venus was sure she would die of boredom. But no, these humans were always trying to become better and stronger. They wanted to make the best of a situation, even the most pessimistic people tried to do that. She had begun to notice it was a form of human nature. A weird one, but one she was glad to witness. Even those at their lowest tried to find something to make the situation better. To have a promise of a new day. Sure, often times it never happened and the patience would wear off for the human and, in a sad moment of despair, they would take the last breath whose exhale would release their soul from their confined body as they walked with their newfound friend in Mors.

Venus hoped that Edmund was trying to make the best of his life, his situation as a demigod. He had been through so much with his family. Gods, even Venus remembered that moment only because of how Vulcan cried upon hearing this and learning that his son was now an orphan and there was nothing he could do for him. It ached her heart for her husband to see his child like that. Sure, the goddess of love was in loveless marriage but that didn't mean she didn't understand the love a parent held for a child. After all, that was what Venus was the divinity of. Everyone seemed to forget that it was more than lust when it came to love. No, it was all forms of love.

She glanced at Edmund as the only sound made in the hallway was their footsteps and breathing. It seemed so, human. But he looked so tired. What could she do to help with his insomnia? Venus lost herself in thought for a moment. Trying to think of all the remedies she had learned the past few years. Finally, her brain brought the face of her granddaughter, Tessa Yates. She was always helping the sleep deprived campers with the use of her teas. That was it! Venus would find someone to get tea to Edmund. Tessas tea. Getting it from Tessa was easy enough, Venus just had to wave her hand and the tea was there, sure, Tessa might turn around and wonder what happened to the cup she just brewed, but Venus would inform her lovely granddaughter of her plans soon enough.

As they passed a window a cold breeze blew through and the sky darkened, signs of rain. Want to know what always worked with rain, tea. Sitting around and watching the cold rain hit the Earth to water it with a nice warm beverage to counter the chill that came with the falling liquid was a nice relaxation technique. A few drops began to fall and Venus waved her hand and a tray sat upon her soft hand and upon the tray was two teacups filled with the warm tea that Tessa used to make the campers sleepy and some fruit. Sure, cookies were typically the fan favorite, but Venus had a gut feeling that cookies would not sit well with her husbands child.

She used her free hand to pick up one of the warm cups of tea and drunk some of it, setting it down before tossing a juicy grape into her mouth. She glanced at Edmund briefly and, without saying a word, extended the tray towards him. Hoping that due to the fact she had some of the food and beverage first would help him to realize she wasn't going to kill him. She was like a kings taster in that aspect, even if the tea was in two cups, that was just to keep the germs apart because she wouldn't want any of his germs as she was sure he wouldn't want any of hers.

words: 661
notes: Hmm... tea and fruit with rain scenery

[Deleted]

ooc: tea time! ic: 678 tag: venus credit to oblivion you had a choice you've made it now

From time to time, Edmund did wonder if the gods ever got bored of it all. Stupid humans who made the same mistakes over and over. Of course, they had their fun manipulating them, but still, century in and century out must have gotten dull. Sometimes humans did have spots of redemption though. Technological advances, forming something out of nothing, creating a family, and just overall living their lives when the world was such a horrid place. Edmund didn't qualify for any of that though. Sure, his body performed the same feat as any: stay alive as long as possible, but that wasn't exactly great. He had never been the optimist. Well, maybe he had been, way back when, but that line of thinking had quickly been snuffed out. It had always been his fault: no matter what way anyone thought of it, no matter what "it" happened to be. From starting a fire, to repairing a computer, people always tried to find fault in him. Sooner or later, he started finding fault in himself. It was a dangerous cycle with no good outcomes, but the line of thinking hadn't proved him wrong yet. He knew it was a horrible cycle, but here he was, at Orthys, "living": training soldiers, making weapons, listening to Cinny radio, and occasionally eating and drinking. Edmund had tried to make the best out of being a demigod. He had tried, even though, at the time, he didn't even know what a demigod was. The last time he had tried, was when he was nine. After that, he just gave up and gave in to what being what a demigod meant. Someone who couldn't afford attachments, had to grow up to be a soldier, and who could be manipulated by the gods at any point in time. Of course, he didn't remember it for a long time, but Orthys had made him realize a lot of things. He had known, deep down somewhere, the hate for the gods had been sown in at a young age. For what reason, he wasn't sure, but now he remembered. Stupid remembering. A relief and a curse. As was almost everything. No more wondering, but no more using a scapegoat. Wait, had he ever blamed anyone for his house fire except himself? He was angry at the gods for a lot of things. His house fire wasn't one of them. His head turned as he heard the soft start of rain. How many times had he just laid on his back, listening to it from his bed in the barrack? He'd sit up for hours, watching Jadis breathing and the rain pelt down. Then training and forge work. Rain or shine. His life before here. Did he miss it? Something caught his eye. Venus, holding out a tray with tea cups and cookies. Where the heck had she--oh right, goddess. Could make things appear. He looked at the goddess, scrunching his eyebrows slightly in confusion. What was this? Was she trying to poison him? Strike a truce? Manipulate him? Okay, maybe not poison, she had just ate and drank things from the tray. Still wary, Edmund reached out and took the cup, ignoring the cookies. "....thanks..." it had been a while since he had had a hot beverage. the last probably being tessera's tea for him to help him sleep. speaking of which, that was exactly what he tasted as he brought the cup to his lips and took a drink. it had helped some. made him tired, made his dreams almost sleepless, like whenever wallow knocked him out. still, the fear of falling asleep was still there, guaranteed dreamless or not. part of him wanted to murder the goddess for giving him a sleeping aid, the other half wanted to just fall asleep. it was an odd, ongoing struggle. a want for going to sleep, and a want to stay awake. he knew he needed the sleep. gods, it was pretty much apparent that everyone at orthys needed some shut eye, but for most, it didn't come.

[Deleted]

Eventually the thought of curling up surrounded by covers on a nice, comfortable bed would lure the person to sleep. Besides, this night would be perfect for sleep. After her visit with the young Edmund Simons Venus was sure she would probably find a place to sleep. Contrary to popular belief, they do sleep. It's often very rare but they can sleep, its not a requirement like it for humans, but it's an easier escape from their stressful lives. Plus, Tessas tea did have this comforting sense that almost made her body feel light but heavy, making the perfect option to be to sleep. And with the sound of the rain hitting softly against the windows and walls, the perfect background tune. How could anyone resist sleep with all of these notions to help one succumb to their unconscious adventure brought by sleep.

Then again, dreams often turned horrible, as was a majority of cases with demigods. It seemed that more than half of them suffered from frequent nightmares. In fact, it was off if a demigod woke up from a sleep that did not involve a nightmare rather than vice versa. Still, how many nightmares must be in this poor, young, son of Vulcans head. He had the trauma of his childhood involving the death of his family and living with his aunt, then being turned into the legion and dealing with all the PTSD from the previous war, and to make matters worse he had a quest thrown upon him that when it ended brought a new series of changes for him and his quest mates. Joshua Rogers found himself in the infirmary and then torn over his love for Rhiannon. Gods, these depressing love stories tore at her heart strings. As much as Rhia tried not to care, she obviously still did and her knight in shining armor never stops fighting for her. Ethan Hunter, well, he was one of the luckier ones after the quest. While his love may be suffering from medical ailments he still finds a way to bring a smile on some peoples face, though, a lot of his friends had pulled away from him. Lyndis Sinclair, the little one of the group, often reminding Edmund of his younger sister. She tried hard to make everyones day better but is now left feeling more orphaned than before with the loss of her father and the loss of the family she forged while on the quest, losing her stand-in older brother to the clutches of Saturn. Then there was just too much that Felicity Weingarten found herself thrown into but she always tries to overcome it, even remembering her best friend before her lover. The pain brought to her when she found out he left almost drove her mad. Finally, Edmund Simons. He reverted back to his scared self, slowly becoming normal but before he could finish the process he high tailed it to Saturn, leaving everyone stunned. Talk about one messed up family.

Venus gave a court nod. "You're welcome." Venus responded, breaking her silence. She wondered if Edmund ever talked about what was on his mind to anyone. Maybe telepathically to his invention, Cinny, was it? At least he had one friend here, as much as he may argue that Cinny was a creation and therefore could not hold the title of friend, Venus felt otherwise. She only wished she could be there for the young man. True, he probably would laugh uncontrollably at the thought. But it was true. Venus just wanted to help him. She wasn't sure of the reason behind it, she just felt compelled to look after him.

words: 615
notes: Mama Venus

[Deleted]

(because I designed it to be that way)

you're already d e a d in all the ways that matter Edmund still had some of Tessa's tea along with the teddy bear she had given him. He actually had lots of things from different campers, mainly Levi, Charlie, Tessa, and Felicity. Wood carving tools, tools, a bunch of medic stuff (he had used at least half of it on the quest), the tea, the teddy, a note book (which he had been using to sketch stuff), an animal encyclopedia, Stitch ears, and a Wheezy plush toy. Oh right, and Felicity letter, along with the Valentine's Day flowers. They were all there, tucked away in one of Cinny's locked and most guarded drawers. There had been a time where Edmund wasn't so adverse to drinking the tea. Probably before the quest. He had used the tea to try to help him sleep in the forge, and he had used it after coming out of his two weeks of isolation with Kyoto and other medics. Two weeks and a month of being a mute. Fun times. Infirmary-phobia put aside, Tessa's tea had worked. But then he had gone on the quest, and no longer wanted to sleep. Tea or no tea, it didn't matter. (A) While he was away he had to stay alert while with the group (B) Once he got back, he couldn't stand to go to sleep at all. The nightmares just got too bad. He could live with his reoccurring house fire and second titan war dreams. they just played out like a never ending movie. But then the quest came along and gave his mind new ideas to toy with. New concepts to explore. None of them good. It shouldn't have affected him as much as it did, but it did. That was the problem, getting stuck with six people. Quest team against the word. It really did become them against the world. That meant problems on Edmund's side. He found himself starting to get attached, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. Six months of them and only them watching each other's backs and saving each other's lives day in and out, especially in the ruins. People just didn't go though that together and just walk away feeling nothing. That didn't exclude Edmund. No, he had walked away with a new family, whether they knew it or not, only to ditch them for Saturn. But no matter. They had been back. They had... other things to attend to, other people they could turn to. Felicity had Remus, even after getting amnesia. Ethan had Lilith and Jason. Joshua had Rhiannon, Remus, and Ethan. Lyn had half the camp. After the quest, most of them went to the infirmary. Edmund stayed out. He kept guard and waited, but even after that, they had all gone their separate ways. That's when he remembered: no one needed him, and he needed no one. He took another sip, just letting the silence of the depressive castle take over again. Most of the time the place was silent, minus when people were training or complaining. Edmund was pretty much one of the more silent people (duh!). He didn't vent to any one or thing... except his pet machine, Cinny. A cold, calculating... well, machine. Besides Ed being Cineribus's inventor and creator, they had a few things in common. A want to shred documents for one, although that could've been massively influenced by his maker. After Ed's roof run in with Mors, Cinny had started becoming more of a sounding board. Ed started to increasingly, telepathically, talk to him about anything and everything. Edmund had given up mentally screaming at the sky. It just attracted immortals. Not that he exactly escaped them by coming here, but still. The more he could lessen his chances, the better.  OOC: aww venus <3 and sorry for this wait! IC: 625