Bring Me Back To Life (Felicity)

[Deleted]

So far this last week was quite a good one. He reminded himself that it was all just friendship, but honestly, just getting to be friends was enough. Did he love her? Sure. Was he okay with hiding that? Yes. He wanted her happy, and she was already. So he would just be her friend. After all, her kind words about feeling comfortable with him warmed him, so he wasn’t about to ruin that. He wanted her happy, and she seemed happy as it was, so he would do his part. Well, mostly happy. There was the matter of her having taken a leave of absence from Camp Jupiter and New Rome. Taken off work, told her fiancé she would be back in… she’d said two weeks, but had also told him that might be a promise she would have to break, so he wasn’t sure. And the whole reason why she had left…

She’d told him the latest news about said fiancé and his apparently awful decision. The whole ordeal about promoting to centurion the girl who had crippled Felicity. Orcus was very tempted to pay that boy a visit for that idiot move, but for now he felt he was more needed here with her. He would be her refuge, her confidant, her friend, her shoulder. She may not remember being Laverna, and she may not share that much in common with the goddess, but he still felt the tie to her and, while he would not do anything about it in that way, he would be there for her.

There was the fact of the matter that she seemed to be at least interested in her past self. She’d told him she’d been doing research on Laverna. Then when he told her about how the goddess used to invite the young children in the Underworld over for a home-cooked meal…. Well, she surprised him as he came back from a nasty bit of work in Thailand. The local deities were not pleased that he came, but he felt they were letting the problem get out of hand, so he stepped in. But confrontation with other religions was always a hassle, and being in nations that he did not have any believers in… it was a strain on him. But he came home to the Underworld to find that fantastic young lady had invited nearly twenty deceased youngsters over and cooked a wonderful spaghetti dinner for everyone. It was quite enjoyable, really.

All these things brought a smile to Orcus’ face as he pulled the blankets on his bed over himself and opened his book. Felicity was two doors down in the jointly refurbished guest room. Well, technically, he was already considering it her room, on the off chance she should ever desire to visit him again after this time. He did wonder how long she planned to stay – not in a bad way, but in a hopeful way – as it had already been a full 6 days since he’d found her in her old hometown.

Tag: @jackyd7813
Word Count: 508
Notes: OLICITY

[Deleted]

There was that voice again. She always remembered it. It was taunting her as she ran. Hell, she didn't know where she was running to. She just knew she needed to run. Run away from the deep voice of Saturn bellowing in her head. But her running was cut short when she ran into a wall in familiar cell. She was back, she was trapped. Her breathing got ragged as she tried to bang on the door and get out. She needed to get out. Then a door opened and she felt a grip inside of her as she looked at the person in the doorway. She would have thought it was a mirror because she was staring at herself, but this person showed no empathy and behind this evil verion of herself were piles of bodies. Edmund, Remus, Clare, everyone. All dead and that was when she felt the squeezing on her heart.

Felicity screamed herself awake as she sat straight up in the bed, covered in sweat. Nightmares. Blasted nightmares. She looked around franticaly, trying to remember where she was. She wasn't at home. She couldn't call out for Remus or grab Max, the stuffed dog Remus had won her. No, she was in the guest room of Orcus's house. She had been there for six days already. She was okay, she was safe. She wasn't locked up again. She wasn't killing people. She wasn't evil. Saturn was gone. Well, actually she was closer to where the stupid Titan is now then she was before. But he was locked up securely in Tartarus still trying to pull himself together. She was okay.

Except she couldn't calm down. It had only been a few moments since she had woken up but she was still looking around frantically. It was too dark. She felt the darkness wa slowly suffocating her. She stumbled out of the bed and turned on the light and leaned against the wall. She glance down the hall and saw that Orcus's light was still on. She needed someone to just talk to. Usually she had to talk to Remus some before going back to bed. Gods she missed that stupid son of Mars. She took a deep breath and pushed herself off the wall and walked down the hall and knocked softly on Orcus's door. She knew she probably looked like a frantic mess with her hair out of place and covered in a cold sweat but she didn't care. She just needed someone. "Orcus?" Felicity called out softly outside of his room.

words: 445
notes: Hope this works if you want me to change anything just let me know

[Deleted]

Orcus was just finishing up a chapter when he heard it. The scream took him by surprise, since this place was usually so quiet. It took him a moment to realize what it could be, or rather who. It sounded far too near to be the Fields of Punishment or Tartarus. It was right here, in his home. Which could only mean one thing: Felicity. He didn’t like to admit it, but for a long moment, he was stock still, unsure what to do. Then it finally smacked him right in the face. He had to help her. So he hurried to slip his bookmark in place and got up from his bed. Thankfully, he was wearing regular pajamas, pants and a button-up, so he didn’t need to worry about hurriedly making himself presentable. It didn’t help though that he really didn’t know what he was doing here. He’d dealt with a lot of things, but this one was a new one alright. Anything involving Felicity Weingarten was new. She just challenged him; that was the fact of the matter. But… he liked it that way. It kept him on his toes. He once tried to keep one step ahead of her so he could be there if she stumbled, but she had a way of catching him by surprise no matter what he did. Like this.

He went to the door and roughly exactly as he heard her quiet call from the other side of the door, he opened it with a little more energy than he meant to. Though what could he say, he was mildly in panic mode. Not many could get him to that mode, but Felicity was one of them. And the idea that she might be hurt? Well, that did the trick alright. The moment he saw her, he took her by the shoulders and looked her over carefully. “Felicity, what happened? Are you alright?” Nothing seemed wrong with her, but it could easily be something he just couldn’t see. His dark eyes were streaked with worry. He let go of her shoulders. “Sorry, come in, have a seat. If you need ambrosia, I’ll go get you some. Or anything. Hot chocolate, you name it.” He knew a few tricks for curing the downs from when he had supported Laverna after Atilius faded. But that was probably entirely different from this scenario, so he was pretty much flying by the seat of his pajama pants.

Tag: @jackyd7813
Word Count: 411
Notes: Sorry it’s short! But it’s here!

[Deleted]

Being grabbed by the shoulders after already being frightened was not exactly a warm, calming welcome. Therefore she tensed up at his touch. Thankfully he let go after a short moment and she could tell from his expression and his words that he might not know what was going on. Probably heard her sream and though she was seriously injured. No, her head was just a mess that decided to scare her at night. Gods, it was embarrassing. She wished she had never spent the night here, then she wouldn't be in this mess she was in now.

Felicity did take a seat though. AS she slowly sat herself down she swallowed hard and shook her head. "No, I'm fine. It was, it was just a nightmare is all. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm sorry." Felicity managed to stammer out. Now she was just embarrassed. She felt pathetic and gods, he probably thought she was pathetic too. Did gods even get dreams? She knew there was a god of dreams, Somnia, but that didn't mean gods dreamed. Did they even sleep? She judged from Orcus's attire that they must, either that or Orcus just liked to hang out in pajamas in his private room. Which hey, no judgement there.

"I just, sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you. Just after nightmares I just, I usually talk to someone but if you're tired I can just go back to my room. I'll be okay, promise." Felicity said and tried to give her best smile but it was just pathetic to her usual smile. SHe just didn't want to be nuisance and that was exactly how she felt at the current moment. Stupid subconscious. First it gave her the bad dreams which lead to her current situation. Making Orcus frantic with worry. She didn't mean to. Just when you have a dream that put all your bad memories together and ended with you coming face to face with the monster you see yourself as, it's a tad alarming. Okay, more than a tad. But that was why she came here. She just figured he could help but now all she did was worry him. Good job, Felicity. Way to be a fantastic guest. You should write a book. How to be the Worst Guest in a Gods Home."[/i[

words: 403
notes: I'm sorry that it's so short, my muse just started to die T_T

[Deleted]

He saw something in her eyes when he took her by the shoulders, something bad, like… panic, even. So he quickly let go, not wanting to cause her further pain. It was silly really, but he saw two sides to that. The part of him that felt sorry and worried for her just at the small look, and the part that felt wounded by the fact that he couldn’t even touch her without her seizing up. He hoped that feeling mixed with the worry in his expression and didn’t actually show itself. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he went to his bed and sat on the edge of it, careful to keep a distance from her as he regarded her. “No need to be sorry. Nightmares are terrible things. If you want the honest truth, I’ve suffered from them myself in my day. So I know how it is.” Gods, did he know. After Atilius had faded, he’d been tormented by nightmares. Then, just to make matters worse, his own wife faded too. It just got worse, and that time, he had no one there to talk to. Which was when he grew his fondness for books and journaling. He had about – oh, what was it now? – 342 journals he’d filled up with his thoughts and the occasional to-do list or similar. Kept them in a dark corner in the office where hopefully no one would find them. And the books. Oh, the books. He followed certain authors. Sometimes literally. Shakespeare, Dickens, Verne, he’d met them all and usually tried to get the first print of their books. Sometimes he got them signed even.

He shook his head as she continued. “No, I’m glad you did. I’m not tired at all. And I wouldn’t complain more of your company. Actually, hold on.” He got up and crossed the room to a small bookshelf, perusing the titles before grabbing one and bringing it back. “In my own troubled times, I’d find that reading helped a lot. This is one of my favorites. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne. I know, strange thing for an Underworld god, but… it is good.” He offered it over. “You’re welcome to borrow it if you like. Or if there’s anything else at all I can do to help you sleep better. You mentioned talking, and I’d be happy to talk with you as long as you want. No trouble at all, promise. Like I said, I enjoy your company.”

Tag: @jackyd7813
Word Count: 419
Notes: sorry, tis short!

[Deleted]

Felicity looked at him. So that answered the question about whether or not gods slept or even dreamed for that matter. She couldn't help but wonder what his nightmares consisted of. And she also felt guilty. Here she was wanting comfort after her horrible dream but poor Orcus, he was alone. He didn't have anyone to seek out for comfort during those days. Not anymore. Reading can help, yeah, but it doesn't work as well as someone being there. Helping you come back to the reality where you are safe. She supposed she was lucky in that way with Remus. He always knew what to say or do. She didn't know how he did but he did. She just felt bad Orcus didn't have anyone like that anymore.


She held the book in her hand. It was a tad worn, probably from age. She knew he ha a speciality for older stuff. She had seen his little shed. It was absolutely magical inside. She could have stayed in ther for hours honestly. "Thanks, I haven't actually read this one yet. I've been told it's a class though." Felicity said, making idle chatter, something nice to get her head off of the nightmare that just occured. Talking was her favorite thing to do.

She gave a slight laugh. "Yeah, talking is just something I usually do after a nightmare. Usually it's with Remus or I talk to the stuffed animal I have. Something to get my mind off of it really. They get bad sometimes." Then she looked at him a moment. "Do gods dream the same as humans? I know you said you've had nightmares before too. I don't mean to bring up bad memories I'm just curious. If I were a cat I'd probably be dead." Felicity said with a slight, hollow laugh at the little joke she made on the familiar saying of curiosity killed the cat. She just didn't want to be rude to him. Gods, why was she all of a sudden so concerned of this? What happened to her just happily being able to do whatever without much fear? Perhaps it was a side effect from the stygian iron sword. She rememebered it had made Lilith depressed, Lilith had said so herself that it made it a lot more severe but being around people who care for her made her feel safer. Well, Felicity was with a close friend so that counted, right? She did feel safe around him, comfortable even. She had always felt at home around Remus and what she felt around Orcus was a familiar sense of that. Like she was always meant to be near him and be safe with him.

words: 459
notes: tried to add in some fluffy

[Deleted]

It was really hard not to fidget. Which was odd for him, but there it was. It was her doing, or it was mostly. It wasn’t the easiest thing to sit around and chat with someone he could definitely sense that familiar-… it was difficult to explain. But he was getting used to this just sitting and talking or travelling or something like that… as friends. It had been six days already, after all. If he wasn’t used to it by now, he never would be. So he liked to think he was. He was happy just to have her company, to see her smile, to know she was having a good life this time around. There were several times he’d found one of Laverna’s reincarnations dead before she even reached her teen years. It was awful. She deserved to be happy. And here she was, what, almost twenty, happily engaged and living a full life. Well, mostly. There was what she had told him about what her fiancé had done. Promoting the little fool who had almost killed Felicity. Orcus still needed to have a word with him about that. Perhaps tomorrow. Though he hated to leave Felicity on her own, and this was something she definitely couldn’t be there for. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself, but… okay, so he didn’t want her to be lonely. That was basically what it boiled down to. Now that he’d found her, he didn’t want her to feel alone anymore. Not ever. He’d gone through enough alone-ness for the both of them. She shouldn’t have to suffer it too. Well, there was also the fact that he did like Felicity as a person too, not just the whole harboring his dead wife’s spirit thing. She was a good person. Ignoring some of the history he’d researched once he found her, but he believed she was making amends now.

He sat back down once he handed over the book and smiled slightly. “It is a classic. 1870, originally in French, but the age is not what makes it good. It’s an adventure story, really. I’ll admit it can be hard to get into, what with the style of writing, but once you get over that, it’s quite good.” Whoa, shut up, man. It’s just a book, and she’s probably not wanting to hear every detail about it. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sound like Wikipedia or something there.” Yes, he knew what Wikipedia was. He actually edited it sometimes too.

He nodded as she spoke of talking to Remus, which was completely to be expected really. Though the idea of her telling her stuffed animal about her nightmares did bring a smile to his face. “Sounds perfectly reasonable. I usually write about it myself. But now you have me to talk to as well. Should you so desire.” Then her interesting question. He ran his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face and nodded. “I do at least. I don’t know if I can speak for all. So yes. To a degree. And no trouble at all, bad memories are easier to deal with when doing so with a good friend.” He paused to collect his thoughts. Even though she had not asked for detail, he felt need to give it. Or maybe it was desire to simply finally tell someone. “It started when I lost Atilius. He was so young. And gods fading… it’s different from dying you see. It takes time, it’s gradual. At least half a year. And-“ His voice caught a little. “When a god or goddess is fading, he or she can be seen… but not touched, even by other immortals. Atilius took ten months. Ten months of living with him there, but not being able to touch him, hold him, anything. And he was terrified, because he knew what was happening. Then… he was gone.” He was staring at the wall, his eyes far away. “And then Laverna went. She cut hers off at two months, using what remained of her energy for… however she did that. Then… for a hundred years, I searched for her. Each time, she was already dead. One time I even missed her by just ten minutes.” He sighed, still staring at the wall. “So, yes, it came back to me in my sleep every time. Honestly, even waking hours felt like a nightmare most of the time.” And he was rambling again. Crap. He took a deep breath and looked to her. “But you didn’t come here to hear my story. I want to help you instead. So what is bothering you.”

Tag: @jackyd7813
Word Count: 781
Notes: MUSE ATTACK

[Deleted]

Felicity laughed some. He was really passionate about the book, she could tell. "No need to be sorry. And don't worry, you didn't sound like wikipedia. You're far more interesting than that website." She said with a smile. She gave a nod when he said she had him to talk to now too. It was a comfortable feeling, just having someone.

She waited as he collected his thoughts and then listened intently as he spoke. It was so sad. She just wanted to get up right this second and hug him. She couldn't imagine that. Having a child and now being able to help them or hold them when they cried. It would be the worst thing imaginable. Then for them to just one day not be there. Gods, she couldn't even imagine how painful that must be. It had to have been one of the worst pains in the world for gods. Even immortals have the downside. And then they don't even go to the Underworld after, they just cease to exist. It was a terrifying though. And for Orcus, he lost both his wife and son that way. Even though she knew what Laverna did, spending all that time finding someone only to just be out of reach. It was like he was cursed about his wife. It made her wonder if she should start being more apprehensive about life if all the past incarnations died before he even showed up, what kind of pain would she experience that was worse than dying before Orcus could find her?

Then he stopped talking. "No, it's okay. I like learning more about you. Your past and stuff. It's interesting. I mean, depressing, yes. But it helped to talk about it sometimes and I'll always be here if you need to tell someone about it again. Besides, my story is just full of bad decisions that follow into my nightmares." Felicity started before taking a breath, figuring out how to say it. "I mean, I don't know if it's because I'm closer to Tartarus here or just memories. But I kept hearing Saturn in my head, laughing and taunting me. I kept running and found myself in that cell I was in a few months ago, gods that was a nightmare in itself. But then the door opened and I saw a pile of all my friends and there was me, standing between myself and the pile but... I was a monster." Felicity managed to say.

And that was something that scared her and filled her with paranoia. All these months later and she still feels like she's a villain. That she's going to take a step in the wrong direction and what use that horrible power again. Every time she used it she felt closer to the shadows, the darkness and evil that it was capable of holding. She couldn't even hold her promise to Remus to never use it again, it was like an addiction for her to use it. She had been good yeah, but only because she couldn't use her powers. But she did use it recently, against the fight with Mika, when she couldn't even remember what she was doing until it was done. It was scary and it made her even more suspicious that one day she'll just lose all sense of humanity and kill everyone without a care.

words: 578
notes: I couldn't reach how many words you did, I 'm sorry

[Deleted]

He had to chuckle. She was such a sweet girl. No, young woman. Yes, even if she did not hold Laverna’s spirit, he would still want to be her friend. She was kind and considerate and just the right touch of funny too. Just thinking about it brought a smile to his face that he realized a moment too late might seem a touch out of place to be randomly smiling… whoops. So he hurried to speak, to cover it up in case she did catch it. “Now now,” he joked. “I rather enjoy Wikipedia. Though don’t look up my name. It isn’t flattering. Which probably means you’re just going to look it up now, correct?” He laughed. The Wikipedia article on him described him as a “hairy, bearded giant”. He was not that hairy, nor did he have a beard, nor was he honestly all that tall. Though… that was the Etruscans. They tended to, erm, see things differently.

Talking through his past was, how to put it, tense. Difficult. Depressing. The whole nine yards. As he stared at the wall, his memory kind of took over. Thinking of his son. How scared Atilius had been as he faded. When it first started happening, he locked himself in his room and cried. It took him a month to come to terms with it and try to make his last months count. Yet Orcus and Laverna still saw his struggle. How he would still cry at night and sometimes he came and woke them both up because he couldn’t sleep and just wanted his parents. And gods, what Orcus would have done to just hold his precious boy and comfort him. And he could see how it affected Laverna too. Neither of them were ready to lose Atilius so soon, not ever for that matter. When he’d been born, they’d assumed, like any immortal, that he’d always be there in their lives. Then Laverna… It had been so hard. Especially after seeing her son go, though, she’d been determined to do something instead of giving into fear and sadness. Which was what brought him here, talking to Felicity Weingarten.

He smiled at her, though there was a hint of sadness to it. “You actually enjoy hearing my sob story? Well, thank you. It does help to talk to a good friend about it.” He shook his head. “Something tells me that’s not entirely it. But do share. If you want.” He watched her silently as she spoke, nodding here and there. It did sound like a horrible dream. No wonder she woke up screaming. It was difficult not to reach out and take her hand, but she was sitting a bit too far away to keep it from being awkward. “Well, that does not sound significantly like much you could have helped. Saturn is an expert at freaking people out with his homicidal maniac thing, so there’s that. Then last I checked, you being imprisoned could not possibly be your fault. As for you being a monster, well, that’s simply not true unless you’re excellent at hiding it. But from what I see, you are far from being a monster.”

Tag: @jackyd7813
Word Count: 530 (So it’s okay, I got less than you! Lol)
Notes: Atilius being adorable

[Deleted]

She just smiled at his wikipedia comment. Of course she was going to have to look it up now. It'll be one of the first things she does when she gets back home now. And then the next time she ran into Orcus she would be sure to never let him live down all that she had learned about him. It was going to be perfectly hilarious.

"It's your life, not just a sob story. I like learning about people. It helps you to understand them better and get closer to them." Felicity said. She didn't enjoy the thought that Orcus might have only had depression in his life. Not that she could blame him. Having lost his child and wife in such a manner, the pain would have experienced must have been traumatic. Losing anyone really. She saw first hand how it was able to tear apart someone and she's never really forgiven herself since after hearing all that she put Remus through when she faked her death. If time travel was possible she would go back and stop herself in a heartbeat. Gods how her life would be different. She would already be married to Remus and he never would have gotten that close to Eve and ended up hurt and she may never have ended up kidnapped by the government. Maybe her life would have been so much simpler already. Who knew, it was all in the past and there was nothing she could do to change the track her life was on now.

However at his kind words she could only stare at the floor in a tad bit of doubt and sadness. "Maybe, but I don't know. Just events and things people have said in the past, they just haunt my dreams. I'm capable of being a monster if I don't keep myself in check. Apollo said so himself. Then of course it's not like I'm good at making good decisions. I'm sure as soon as you found out who I was you did some snooping on me and probably learned about how much of an idiot I have been, right? Gabe's the golden child of Pluto in this decade. I'm just, I don't know." Felicity ended up saying with a shrug. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go on a tangent. I just-" She sighed and shook her head. She didn't know how to finish that sentence. She was just feeling guilty for even bothering the god. Here he had been all nice and let her stay and has been a wonderful friend and here she was acting twelve instead of nineteen. She didn't know how to be an adult and keep herself together sometimes. Could anyone blame her though? Not like she was ever able to have a childhood having been put into the legion after only a decade of living.

words: 481
notes:

[Deleted]

He had to smile at her words. She was Laverna, of that he was certain, yet she was Felicity too. A pleasant mix of both, even if she didn't know it. A woman up against a tremendous amount of prejudice and hate, yet holding strong to who she was and what she stood for. She was brave and true to herself and demanded the respect of others, not at sword point like some (ahem, Mars) but because of her actions. He was pleased to call himself her friend. "Thank you very much for saying that. It is quite nice to have someone to confide in. And I hope you do know that you can find the same thing in me. If, you know, you are comfortable with that."

He leaned back as he listened to her continue and nodded. "I see. Well, if I may, don't put too much into other peoples' opinions, unless it is someone you know wants the best for you. Some people have the sole purpose to bring you down and make you miserable. Find out who those ones are and stop listening to them entirely." He steepled his fingers in thought. "Now for my own opinion, should it be worthy of your ear. I'll let you decide that. I did do some research on you after we first met. Even snuck into the file rooms at the principia after hours. I won't lie that what I found was startling. You've been up to a lot of things, haven't you? Admittedly not all of them good, but no one is pure good. Even Elpis herself should be treated carefully. So don't worry about that. Now... I'll tell you what I pieced together from what I read and heard. I found a very curious young woman who is under a tremendous amount of pressure from the standard lifestyle of a powerful demigod, to wars and struggle, to crippling loss. You're searching for your way, where you belong. And - trust me here when I say - you take after your father's stubbornness and unique challenges. You don't seem to want to accept help, which there's nothing wrong with. In fact, if you ask me, you have it worse than your father because he has doubters, yes, but most fear to confront him about it. You, on the other hand, have hate thrown in your face because they figure you can't damn their soul or something. So - now don't tell him - I think you're stronger emotionally than him. You survive. Now now, about these being a monster things. I don't know much about this, so forgive me. I only know a few things. I have heard about your... unusual shadow manipulation. I want you to know that if that makes you a monster, I'm the proverbial Satan himself next to you. Anger... it's an awful thing. It can tear you apart, and when you feel like you're lost, it just makes it easier to lose control. That's my theory, because that's what I've experienced. I've lost control many a time myself, and that was usually how it happened. So... I'm not judging you a monster for what you've done. I know it haunts you, but it's better to learn from it than to let it devour you."

Words: 547
Tag: @jackyd7813
Notes: That was awful. I'm so sorry. I need my Orcus muse back. Must watch more OUAT (darn)

[Deleted]

Felicity listened to him as he spoke. He wasn't exactly wrong, well actually, he was pretty spot on that it seemed unnerving to her only because no one else seemed to take that much of an interest and evaluate her. Sure, she had plenty of people who cared for her but as far as she knew they never tried to nitpick her the way Orcus had. He just seemed to know and understand exactly what she had mentally been going through during those instances. Whether or not that was just because he was a god and had some weird way of being omnipotent, she had no idea. And to be quite honest, she had no idea how to respond to him.

Therefore when she did finally get around to responding to him it seemed like forever had passed, even thought it was only a mere moment. "I... wow, I have never in my entire life have heard something like that. And that is a good thing. Just a shock. I never had anyone to really relate to or understand on the subject. I know people have tried, Remus, my friend Ed, but none seemed to really pinpoint it down the way you have. Is that some perk of being god?" Felicity asked in jest to help ease the unease she was currently feeling, it was a good unease though, if that made any sense. It was a feeling of raw. She no longer had to keep up an exterior that she kept up around so many people to act like some things that still bothered her didn't. With Orcus, she could talk about it and confide and ultimately help the healing process.

Perhaps it would even help her with the bad dreams. Her subconscious was a mess and she knew it and it was because everything that had happened to her she had never fully overcome. "I should think you though. I never really had anyone to open up to that much with in fear of worrying someone. I know it sounds silly, especially considering that I have people who would happily listen but I just don't want to cause them any more stress or heartache. I don't blame you for reading about me, but from doing so, I bet you know why I fear hurting them in any way again." Felicity said. And it was true, but as stated before she know had someone to confide in and she was happy about that.

words: 422
notes: shorter than the rest, sorry!

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Orcus was talking too much, he was sure of it. He just had a lot he felt needed to be said. He supported her, and he wanted her to know it. So he didn’t hold any of it back. He just kept his eyes on her as he spoke, trying to guess her reaction. She was a good listener, he’d give her that. Especially seeing as he was basically reciting something the length of Le Mis at her. Finally, he finished and waited in silence for her to respond. He was waiting for her to tell him off for assuming so much or something like that. But she didn’t. Thank the gods she specified that it was a good thing. He had to smile, mostly in relief. Then she asked about the perks of being a god and, well, a laugh was inevitable. It felt good to laugh. It really wasn’t something he did as often as he once did. Laverna had always made him smile and have fun despite his gloomy job and… well, all these years of tracking down her dead body wasn’t a good source of smiling and having fun. Nor was punishing people. But now, with her, he smiled. “Not that I’m aware of. I’m sure Lady Venus for instance. She wouldn’t know the first thing about guilt and challenges. Then again, she’s hardly a real goddess. My personal opinion,” he said with a chuckle.

Then he folded his hands on his lap and regarded her. “In all honesty, I think it’s just that, well, that I know how that feels, so I don’t want you to have to deal with that yourself or certainly not by yourself.” He wished he could take her hands in his, but he was too far away from her. She was endearing, even when she was in such a difficult place. It just made him want to help her all the more. He smiled warmly. “No, thank you for sharing. Your trust is… I’m happy to have it. I can completely understand what you mean. It’s hard to confide in the ones we love for fear of stressing them and weighing them down. There were plenty of things I didn’t give Laverna the details on. Mostly my work,” he waved a hand as if to say this was understandable. “But back on topic. Of course I see why you fear to hurt them. You won that war, but at an awful price, for one. Then I understand it had some link to your abduction perhaps. So I’m sure that brings on a whole new level of ‘this could have been avoided’ mentality. I mean, it falls to reason that you would only have wanted to escape that camp for a time… only if you had something you wanted to escape from. Does it have to do with your nightmares? Or is there even more to it? Remus isn’t giving difficulty, is he?”

Words: 492
Tag: @jackyd7813
Notes:

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Felicity nodded at his words. He did have a point. Especially at the end. Of course she would have that mentality. Literally everyone she ran into after she faked her death told her of the horrible pain Remus was going through and it just got to a point she was too afraid to ever return. Perhaps Remus was right when he asked her if it wasn't for Edmund figuring out how to contact her is she would have ever returned. Truth of the matter she would have liked to say yes but she didn't know the answer to it at that point of time, despite how Apollo had tried to help. And then there was the entire scenario when she returned to find that Remus had started dating another girl. And gods, they tried to keep their distance. For the longest time. It just got hard to do after awhile. THey would walk into each other and welcome a very awkward moment because they still cared for each other and knew there was nothing they could do. Until they actually did something, they would go away someplace private and grow closer to each other. Which obviously prompted the anger of Eve and ended up in Felicity's abduction. It all started with her fault.

Though she shook her head quickly at his ending question. "No, it wasn't because of him. It was just, things were too normal. Too peaceful and calm, it was driving me insane. I had too much free time and I was growing stir crazy. I was afraid of leaving REmus actually so I even asked him if it would be okay if I left, he was all for it, he understood. But... I mean, when I well, I'm sure you know, faked my death, that did have something to do with him. Kind of, I think I was getting cold feet. I'm afraid of just growing up and not doing anything. I like excitement and I guess the idea of being caged in any form is scary." Felicity admitted shyly. Though it made sense to even explain why she left this reason.

Things were starting to feel like a cage. She would wake up, go to the cafe for a bagel and coffee. Go to work for hours. Talk to Amelia at work and occasionally go to lunch with her or someone else or just eat alone. THen she would stop by the principia after work to see if Remus was coming to the apartment that evening and if he wanted dinner. After dinner it was bedtime. It was the same thing, everyday. She was getting bored and stir crazy. She always thought of herself like a bird waiting for the next wind to take her on a journey but now she was stuck in a cage with no wind. It didn't help she didn't have access to her powers. It just made the situation a billion times worst.

words: 499
notes: FINALLY MY INTERNET COOPERATED!!!

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Orcus nodded slightly as he listened to her talking. Well, it was good it wasn’t Remus treating her poorly, at least. He didn’t want to have to strangle anyone today. Might make Felicity upset to see her fiance’s face turn blue, after all. Could be startling.

“I see. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Now hmm. I suppose the best I can think, in my own selfish mind, is that you may simply plan on calling me whenever you like. We could go on adventures together.” Wow, did that sound selfish. At least he wasn’t trying to break her prospective marriage, though, right? He wasn’t telling her to marry him instead or something. “I suppose I take adventure for granted, myself. My job brings me all over the globe and I don’t usually bother to sightsee. But I imagine with someone on for the trip with me, I would take the time to slow down. Not that I’m saying you should accompany me on my duties, far from it. But perhaps just little day excursions. Name the place. You have a means of calling me, so name the time too.”

He folded his hands in his lap and took a long breath. “But I digress. And perhaps step on toes in the process. It’s been a while since I had a friend to invite at all. So I apologize for possibly seeming upfront. You may feel free to refuse.” He fidgeted a little, but immediately caught himself and stopped. “I think I would find it scary too, to help ease your mind. If I were told I needed to remain in the Underworld for the rest of my days… I might go mental.” He offered a small smile.

Words: *embarrassed mutter* 290
Tag: @jackyd7813
Notes: VIVA LA OLICITY